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Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite}
1 year ago • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:34:08 PM IDT
Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:34:08 PM IDT
I'm about to offer what seems to be an unpopular viewpoint.

To my way of thinking, it SHOULD be a big deal...at least, if someone is considering a serious relationship, and not something casual.

I'm on the opposite side of that fence...I don't want children. And starting a relationship with someone who has them changes everything I had envisioned for myself. It would require real consideration before I became seriously involved with someone who has them. It's a commitment, even if it's not mine directly. I wouldn't rule out getting to know someone simply because they had them, but it WOULD play a role in deciding whether a relationship with that person fit for me. It boils down to deciding if the person was someone I wanted to "change" for, and how our lives fit together.

Is that an excuse to be a jerk to you or ghost you? Absolutely not. A jerk is just a jerk. And if they're not even willing to get to know you past that one aspect of your life, then I agree that they likely weren't worth your time. I just thought I'd offer a peek at the other side.

I hope you find your fit ❤
Phanes57​(dom male)
1 year ago • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:24:19 PM IDT
Phanes57​(dom male) • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:24:19 PM IDT
SevenSeven​(sub female)

But because, children have mothers and although he may not be involved with that woman anymore, he still has to be in sync and connected with her to properly co-parent with her. If there's friction there, left over feelings, or issues between him and her, I don't want to be involved in that. It's not a limit for me or anything but the follow up question is always, "how is your relationship with their mother?"

That was another factor that made My decision very difficult when it came time for Me to make the committment.
SevenSeven
1 year ago • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:08:36 PM IDT
SevenSeven • Mon 15 Oct 2018 07:08:36 PM IDT
I'll be honest and say that I tend to shy away from Doms with children. Not because I don't like children, I love children and one day hope to have some of my own. But because, children have mothers and although he may not be involved with that woman anymore, he still has to be in sync and connected with her to properly co-parent with her. If there's friction there, left over feelings, or issues between him and her, I don't want to be involved in that. It's not a limit for me or anything but the follow up question is always, "how is your relationship with their mother?"
Phanes57​(dom male)
1 year ago • Mon 15 Oct 2018 06:48:13 PM IDT
Phanes57​(dom male) • Mon 15 Oct 2018 06:48:13 PM IDT
As I read the previous posts to this forum; I see many responses that would be expected to be written in answering the question posed. I agree with all those who had. Someone who has children shouldn’t be the deciding factor when it comes to whether or not a union within any relationship should or not happen. But I, Myself wanting to be honest and open to My thoughts in regard to this subject; feel as if I need to perhaps justify those who do base their objections to not wanting to enter such a relationship. I was one of those people; until recently. I hope to explain My thoughts.

In fear of highjacking this forum being I have so much to say on the subject; I ask those who wish to read My thoughts to go to My Blog entitled: Hard Truths and Personal Insightment
Samsea​(dom male)
1 year ago • Mon 15 Oct 2018 03:06:44 PM IDT

Is a sub having children really that much of a big deal

Samsea​(dom male) • Mon 15 Oct 2018 03:06:44 PM IDT
I think you have been lucky as the idiots that have passed you by are just that, idiots without the common sense to see the 'real you' who comes with (I don't like the word but 'baggage' as they see it) and that can be anything or anyone. If they truly want the 'you' nothing else matters, your children and others in your life make you who you are.

Best be upfront with it from the word go as an example here is the open lines of my profile. its me so why hide it.

"Who am I? a 60 years old, fit and very clean male Domme, I am married and have been for many years however my wife is very vanilla in the bedroom and does not share my desires and tastes."

If we approach 'bdsm play' then surly honesty and truthfulness MUST be at the very forefront of our actions, sure we might loose out on the numbers who show an interest, but we must all be looking for THE ONE, and if we find her or him, then we can count ourselves lucky and if you do get a message you can be a little bit more certain they want you...

Sam
PappaBear​(dom male)
1 year ago • Sun 14 Oct 2018 11:59:21 AM IDT
PappaBear​(dom male) • Sun 14 Oct 2018 11:59:21 AM IDT
Yeah been covered but *raises hand* I’m another Dom with a kid. Wouldn’t mind a sub with kids, or if she wants kids with me. They’re too much fun not to have. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and keep filtering through all the junk , and keep your bullshit detector on high. The one you’re looking for is out there. He’ll understand and he’ll work with you.
Yodadom​(dom male)
1 year ago • Sun 14 Oct 2018 04:44:45 AM IDT
Yodadom​(dom male) • Sun 14 Oct 2018 04:44:45 AM IDT
Kids shouldn’t be an issue. They aren’t for me. I am a dom with kids. Kids balance your life as a partner and keep you with a good perspective and priority
DomForHer​(dom male)
1 year ago • Tue 31 Jul 2018 04:37:41 AM IDT
DomForHer​(dom male) • Tue 31 Jul 2018 04:37:41 AM IDT
Honestly if that makes them uninterested then they are not for you. Your family comes first no matter what. Even though you are a sub you should have standards and requirements just like any other relationship. You don’t want to settle. I have kids and my sub has a kid of her own as well. Our relationship did not start out in this dynamic but evolved into it. Like someone else said think about what you want in a dom and what is and is not acceptable. Don’t settle for less. You will find you dom in time. Good luck.
SouthernClass
1 year ago • Tue 31 Jul 2018 04:28:59 AM IDT
SouthernClass • Tue 31 Jul 2018 04:28:59 AM IDT
So i'm new here, but I think it shouldn't be. I agree with some of the others that expectations are so important. It's a big enough deal for me that it's numero uno in my profile. And I'm definitely not bothered by people who don't care to speak with me socially or more seriously. I think being authentic and true to you is so much more important. Thus far I haven't heard anything ugly, unkind, or derogatory about me having kids (I have two elementary youngins) and wouldn't given respect or attention to someone who is. Make no apologies for you or what you want and need. Best wishes icon_smile.gif
Kati​(sub female)
1 year ago • Mon 30 Jul 2018 06:42:42 AM IDT
Kati​(sub female) • Mon 30 Jul 2018 06:42:42 AM IDT
Thank you for your input. I truly appreciate it. And you make a very valid point