The Kink Perspective looks at BDSM through psychology, not performance. It’s an honest examination of power, connection, and what really shapes relationships inside kink, without romanticizing dysfunction or avoiding hard truths.
On today’s show, I discuss why we return to familiar relationship and power exchange dynamics even when we know the cost. We look at the difference between insight and wiring, how intensity can be mistaken for connection, and why calm can feel wrong if your nervous system was trained on unpredictability. I break down the stories we tell ourselves to justify going back, what actually interrupts a pattern, and why the discomfort that follows change does not mean you chose wrong.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#Psychology #Patterns #Attachment
On today’s show, I discuss what being single reveals in the lifestyle, and why it’s often less about preference than about capacity. This episode continues the journal entry Strong Enough to Stay Single and looks at how structure, intensity, and roles can quietly become substitutes for regulation. I explore what actually breaks connection when curiosity and listening fall away. No advice, no villains, just recognition.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#Psychology #Single #Lifestyle
On today’s show, I discuss where kink ends and public responsibility begins. This isn’t about shaming desire or policing bodies, it’s about consent, context, and containment. We look at why private dynamics don’t automatically translate to public spaces, why intent isn’t enough, and how public settings change the ethics. I also explore the psychology behind being seen and why restraint isn’t repression. A grounded conversation about protecting consent, credibility, and the community as a whole.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
Contact me at thekinkperspective@gmail.com
#Psychology #Public #Kink #Ethics
On today’s show, I discuss monogamy in the lifestyle and why it continues to provoke strong reactions in kink spaces. Rather than arguing for or against any structure, this episode slows things down and looks at how monogamy, exclusivity, and fidelity actually function in real dynamics. We explore why monogamy is often misunderstood, when it holds, when it doesn’t, and how people can make relational choices that fit their attachment, desire, and capacity for honesty over time.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#Psychology #Monogamy #Relationships #Styles
On today’s show, I discuss what happens when sex is taken off the table, but closeness isn’t. I look at how sex often gives scenes their shape, makes vulnerability feel easier to tolerate, and offers a clear sense of direction and ending. We talk about what comes up when that structure is gone, how intimacy gets confused with intensity, and why non-sexual closeness can feel more confronting than people expect. This isn’t about better scenes or doing kink the right way. It’s an honest look at presence, exposure, and what’s revealed when there’s nothing to perform, escalate, or finish with.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#Psychology #Intimacy #Lifestyle
Season 5 is live! On today’s show, I talk about what happens when being needed turns into identity, and how usefulness quietly replaces self in relationships, power dynamics, and long-term connection. This episode sits with why being required can feel safer than being chosen, how that pattern forms, and what it costs over time. No fixes. No steps. Just naming something a lot of people live with but rarely say out loud.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Chosen #Needed
This episode is a year-end reflection. I talk about what stood out to me across this season, where my thinking shifted, and what kept showing up no matter the topic. I also respond to a few listener questions from different parts of the world before closing out the year and heading into Season 5.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
On today’s show, I discuss why structure and clarity in kink can feel safe without actually creating emotional security. We look at how well-run dynamics can quietly avoid closeness, how avoidant and fearful patterns use roles and rules as protection, and what emotional safety in D/s really requires beyond consent, negotiation, and smooth functioning.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
On today’s show, I discuss the tension between wanting connection and needing control. We look at learned defiance, how it forms, why it feels safer than hope, and the subtle ways it shapes intimacy, attachment, and power exchange inside the lifestyle.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Defiance #Behavior
Celebrating the 200th episode, I’m digging into the two myths you voted for: the idea that harm doesn’t count if it wasn’t intended, and the belief that experience automatically makes someone safe. These show up everywhere, and they shape how people trust, how they explain discomfort, and how they excuse behavior without even realizing it. In this episode, I’m breaking down why these myths stick around, how they actually play out in real dynamics, and what matters more than intention or years in the lifestyle. If you’ve ever wondered whether your reaction was valid, or whether someone’s “history” should mean anything, this conversation will help you sort through it.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Myths #BDSM
On today’s show, I discuss why some people believe your time and labor should be free. We look at how entitlement shows up in community spaces, the real cost behind expertise, and why boundaries matter if you want your work to stay healthy and sustainable.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Entitlement
On today’s show, I discuss how rising hostility is reshaping kink spaces, why people are jumping to extremes, and how emotional overload, identity signaling, and silence are changing the culture. This episode takes a close look at behavior, not politics, and explores what gets lost when anger becomes the default tone in a community built on trust, curiosity, and communication.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Hostility #Community
On today’s show, I discuss the difference between hurt and harm in power exchange. We look at how emotional coercion hides behind consent, how both Doms and subs can cross lines without realizing it, and what recovery looks like after control or manipulation. It’s about learning to hold power with care, not fear, because while we can consent to hurt, we cannot consent to harm.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Hurt #Harm
On today’s show, I discuss Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, how trauma shapes our reactions to rejection, and what happens in the body when the nervous system mistakes discomfort for danger. We’ll look at the science behind it, the patterns it creates in relationships, and the practical ways to start retraining the body toward safety and calm.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #RSD #Trauma
On today’s show, I discuss what happens when the body starts reaching for connection before the mind feels ready. After loss or betrayal, the drive for closeness doesn’t disappear, it just gets confused. I talk about why attachment and grief are inseparable, how avoidant and anxious patterns develop as survival strategies, and why betrayal grief feels so different from death loss. This episode breaks down what’s really happening inside the nervous system when you crave touch, reassurance, or familiarity after pain, and how to slow that reflex down without shutting it off. Connection before safety isn’t failure, it’s a reflex that helped you survive. The work is learning to listen to it without letting it lead.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Grief #Attachment
On today’s show, I discuss what happens when the scene ends and connection turns quiet. This episode concludes a two-part series exploring avoidance, intimacy, and what it means to stay when the instinct is to run. We look at the drop from both sides: the person who retreats and the one left in the silence, and how the nervous system tries to find safety when closeness starts to feel unfamiliar. I talk about emotional pacing, repair, and the slow process of rebuilding trust in calm instead of chaos. If you have ever felt that push and pull between wanting to be seen and needing to hide, this conversation will help you understand what is really happening underneath that tension.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Avoidance
On today’s show, I explore the body as the place where memory, desire, and truth all live. We move through what happens when the body betrays us through trauma and disconnection, when it begins to command through craving and impulse, and when it finally speaks with clarity. This episode looks at how kink, embodiment, and awareness can help us understand the body not as an enemy, but as a guide back to presence and trust.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Body
On today’s show, I discuss what it really means to be met by someone instead of simply being seen by them. This episode concludes the Intimacy vs Exposure series, exploring how fear, hunger, and repair shape the way we love, connect, and reveal ourselves. We look at the psychology of mutual risk, the balance between safety and openness, and how real intimacy becomes a living practice rather than a performance.
Whether in kink or in everyday life, this conversation is about learning to stay present without losing yourself, to build connection through honesty, and to find steadiness in the spaces between.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Intimacy #Risk
On today’s show, I discuss the role of friendship as the most overlooked form of intimacy. This isn’t “just friends” in the casual sense. It’s friendship as radical intimacy, the kind that offers safety, recognition, and patience. It is the ground where conditional value loses its grip and where desire wired for depth can finally thrive.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Intimacy #Friendship #Deficit
On today’s show, I discuss what it means to care for a partner when both of you are hurting. We look at the risks of one-sided care, the pressure of roles in D/s and other relationships, and the shifts that make support sustainable. This episode explores how to stay present without losing yourself, and how honesty and flexibility keep relationships strong in times of crisis.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Crisis
On today’s show, I discuss how the rise of silencing, exclusion, and conformity is affecting kink communities. We look at the psychology of groupthink, the danger of rhetoric turning violent, and why protecting difference is essential to the foundations of BDSM. At its heart, kink depends on consent, creativity, and dignity. When fear takes their place, the culture erodes. This episode is a call to remember what kink was built for and to ask what kind of community we want to create together.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Safety #Rhetoric #KinkCommunity
On today’s show, I discuss the sting of jealousy and envy in the digital age, and how even a simple like on social media can trigger deep insecurities. We’ll break down the difference between jealousy and envy, explore how exclusivity is tested in public spaces, and talk about practical ways to respond when those pangs hit. I’ll also bring this into the kink and D/s dynamic, where attention and validation carry heightened meaning.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Jealousy #Envy
On today’s show, I sit down with redwarrior, a Leatherwoman, author, teacher, and titleholder who has been part of the BDSM community for decades. We talk about what first drew her into the lifestyle, how she discovered her roles as both sadist and masochist, dominant and submissive, and her passion for the Leather community. We explore her views on submission as a spiritual path, the psychology of risk and surrender, the ethics of conditioning in power exchange, and what it means to integrate dual identities. This is a candid and thoughtful conversation about kink, identity, and the deeper truths that shape who we are.
Follow her on Fetlife - @redwarrrior
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Journey #Duality
On today’s show, I discuss how social pressure and conditioning shape the way we experience power dynamics in kink. We’ll look at why curiosity about crossing the slash often collides with fear, shame, and self-judgment, and how internalized expectations can hold us back from exploring roles that might feel authentic. This episode challenges the idea that our choices are purely personal and asks whether we’re living by desire or by the mold we were handed.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Roles #Society
On today’s show, I discuss the messy middle of kink, that stage where the thrill of being new has faded but you do not yet feel fully grounded. We explore what this phase looks like, why it often feels awkward or isolating, and how psychology helps explain identity drift, loss of novelty, and comparison traps. I also talk about how to reframe this stage as a chance to clarify values and build depth, not as a failure. And at the end of the episode, I share this week’s segment of You’re Famous Now, where I read some of the more colorful comments that come my way.
Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.com
Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/
I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!
#BDSM #Psychology #Discover #Depth