Welcome to The Kink Consultant podcast, where we’re turning up the heat on all things kink in dating, relationships, and pop culture! Join Amanda each week as she dishes out the juiciest stories, expert advice, and shares a sneak peek behind the bedroom door with some amazing guests. Whether you're just a little kink-curious, ready to spice things up, or a seasoned pro, there's something here for you! Get ready to explore the wild world of intimacy, kink, and those oh-so-intriguing D/s dynamics.
Work with me: https://www.amandadames.com/Coaching
Shelby Devlin returns to the pod to discuss her new book The Pleasure Protocol, why it is the practical guide kinksters have been missing, and how to navigate fantasy, desire, and consent in real life.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/Coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-trained coach, educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol: A Contemporary Guide to BDSM. They discuss why she wrote a practical, relational guide to kink when so many books focus only on roles, and why consent, repair, and communication are the pieces most books leave out.
They explore the cultural shift away from masculine dominance and toward feminine dominance, why topping from the bottom can become coercive, and how to tell the difference between a fantasy and a desire. Shelby also shares the concept of repetition with agency, why coaches and therapists should focus on pleasure rather than pathologizing trauma, and what safety third actually means.
If you have ever wanted a practical, current guide to navigating kink relationally, this episode is for you.
Pre-Order The Pleasure Protocol Here: https://www.shelbydevlin.com/the-pleasure-protocol
Join the Koko Club Today! https://www.amandadames.com/offers/6uC24tgZ
Connect with Shelby Devlin:
https://www.instagram.com/coachshelbydevlin/
Download your FREE Worksheets:
Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in
Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Auntie Carmen, the desire midwife, joins the podcast to discuss becoming shame proof, claiming your kinks, and having the kind of sex you actually want.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/Coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Auntie Carmen, the desire midwife, who helps women who are kink curious or identify as kinky become shame proof so they can uncover their true desires, claim their kinks, and have the sex they actually want.
They explore how women are conditioned to be the receiver of desire rather than the person with the desire, why malnourishment and scarcity push people into settling, and how to tell the difference between fear and a genuine lack of compatibility. Auntie Carmen shares her own journey of discovering her submission in her 40s, meeting her dominant on FetLife from across the world, and why she believes shame should not be released but transformed into an erotic playground.
If you have ever felt like a burden for wanting what you want, this episode is for you.
Connect with Auntie Carmen
https://www.instagram.com/shameproofyourdesires/
https://shameproofyourdesires.com/
Download your FREE Worksheets:
Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in
Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
In the final installment of this special three-part solo series, I am breaking down what to do if your partner says no or freaks out when you share your kink.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/Coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I close out the series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part one, we covered preparation and releasing shame. In part two, we walked through the exact conversation. In part three, we are talking about what happens after, whether it went well or it did not.
I explain how to lead with curiosity about what has been coming up for your partner, how to address their fears without jumping into fix-it mode or defensiveness, and why you do not have to accept shame even when you are asking for understanding. I also break down the different levels of no, why a no is a boundary that must be respected, and how working with a coach or therapist can help you both find a path forward even when the kink itself is off the table.
If you have shared your kink and it did not go the way you hoped, this episode gives you the next steps.
Download your FREE Worksheets:
Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in
Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
In part two of this special three-part solo series, I am breaking down exactly how to have the conversation with your partner about your kink.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I continue the series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part two, I walk you through the actual conversation from start to finish. I explain how to set up the conversation at the right time, how to lead with curiosity before you share, and why asking for consent to share your fantasy changes everything. I also break down how to explain your kink in a way your partner can actually understand by naming the feeling underneath it, how to give them space to process, and why closing the conversation with gratitude and a future check-in date matters.
If you have been ready to have the conversation but are not sure what to actually say, this episode gives you the exact framework.
Download your FREE Worksheets:
Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in
Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
In the first episode of a special three-part solo series, I am breaking down everything you need to know before you tell your partner you are kinky.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I am launching a special solo series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part one, I focus on the preparation that needs to happen before the conversation even starts, because disclosing a kink and asking your partner to participate in it are two very different things.
I walk through the questions you need to ask yourself first, including why you want to tell them, where your kink falls on the spectrum of fantasy, nice to have, and need, and how to identify the feeling underneath the kink so you can explain it in a way your partner can actually understand. I also address how to prepare for a no, why highly stigmatized kinks require extra time and softness, and why releasing shame is the number one thing standing between you and the experiences you want.
If you have been hiding a kink, wondering how to bring it up, or scared of how your partner will react, this episode gives you the foundation you need before part two.
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Melanie Rose, star of Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room, joins the podcast to discuss sex room design, the history of sex toys, and how to create a pleasure space that works for your body and your relationship.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Melanie Rose, interior designer, artist, and host of Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room. They discuss how she went from designing kitchens and bathrooms to creating intimate sanctuaries for couples, why sex rooms do not have to look like dungeons, and how she approaches consultations with curiosity and zero judgment. They also discuss her favorite recommendations for spicing up a master bedroom, including the Tantra Chair, underbed restraint kits, and her curated website where everything has been personally tested or vetted.
If you have ever wanted to add a little spice to your bedroom, wondered how to store your kinky items tastefully, or been curious about what it is really like to design a sex room, this episode is for you.
Connect with Melanie Rose
https://www.melanieruthrose.com/
https://www.instagram.com/melanieruthrose/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100013043105080
https://www.pinterest.com/melanieruthrose/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
The hosts of The Kinky Cocktail Hour join the podcast to share their 24/7 D/S dynamic story, how they evolved their relationship over time, and why kink is the way they communicate.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Saffer Master and Lady Petra, hosts and producers of The Kinky Cocktail Hour podcast. They share their powerful origin story of coming out of 30-year marriages, finding each other on FetLife, and building a 24/7 dynamic. They explore how Lady Petra discovered her dominance after years of identifying as a service submissive, why they renew their vows every six months, and how checking your ego at the door is the key to a healthy dynamic. They also discuss the importance of daily debriefs, why kink is the way they communicate, and how they built their relationship through curiosity and connection.
If you have ever wondered how a dynamic can evolve over time or how to navigate a major shift in roles, this episode offers a beautiful example of what is possible when both partners stay open and committed.
Connect with Saffer Master and Lady Petra
https://tinyurl.com/Hard-Married
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/kinky-cocktail-hour/id1505110538
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Fitrix, personal trainer, and OnlyFans creator Carmilla Vess joins the podcast to discuss how kink and fitness intersect, why butt plugs can teach you to squat, and how to break the binge-restrict cycle.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Carmilla Vess to explore the unexpected overlap between kink, fitness, and binge-eating. Carmilla shares her approach to fit domming, why she refuses to use food or working out as punishment, and how she builds sustainable programs for clients. They also dive into the binge-restrict cycle, why shame keeps people stuck, and how to love your body through the process instead of hating it into change.
If you have ever struggled with consistency in the gym, felt shame around your body, or wondered how kink and fitness actually connect, this episode offers practical tools and a refreshing perspective.
Connect with Carmilla Vess
https://www.instagram.com/fitfor.ofans/
https://www.instagram.com/xo_carmilla/
https://www.tiktok.com/@carmilla_vess
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Four real people, four very different kink journeys, and a whole lot of proof that listening to your kink can actually change your life.
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For the 100th episode of The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with four former clients to share their real-life stories of kink, BDSM, relationships, desire, and self-discovery. From finding the courage to prioritize a long-suppressed kink, to discovering D/S as an adult virgin, navigating a relationship where partners have different interests, and learning how to bring kink into a long-term partnership, these stories show just how different a kink journey can look. There are no neat fairy-tale endings here. There are hard conversations, changing relationships, boundaries, experimentation, vulnerability, and plenty of growth.
If you've ever wondered what could happen when you stop ignoring what you want, this episode is for you. Hear how embracing kink helped these clients become more honest with themselves, communicate more openly, build stronger relationships, and feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Clinical sexologist Dr. Stacy Friedman joins the podcast to discuss how to talk to your partner about your deepest fantasies, navigate midlife desire, and advocate for your sexual health.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda http://www.amandadames.com/coaching
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Dr. Stacy Friedman, clinical sexologist and intimacy coach, for a conversation on fantasies, desire, and midlife changes. Dr. Stacy shares her personal experience with menopause, hormone replacement therapy, why testosterone is crucial for female libido, and how to advocate for yourself with doctors. They also discuss erectile dysfunction, pegging and anal play shame, alternative lifestyles, and why you shouldn't just ChatGPT your relationship problems.
If you have ever struggled to share a fantasy, felt your desire shift in midlife, or wondered how to reconnect with your partner, this episode offers practical advice and compassionate guidance.
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Dr. Stacy Friedman
https://www.instagram.com/drstacyfriedman/
https://www.youtube.com/@DrStacyFriedman
https://tiktok.com/drstacyfriedman
https://threads.com/drstacyfriedman
https://open.spotify.com/show/1Kgh4gvyxZOMjqQZyfRYnb?si=7340b3b967d843f0
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Emotional intimacy coach Allana Pratt joins the podcast to discuss psychedelics, kink, and coming home to your body through healing trauma and somatic integration work.
Join the Self-Dom Challenge: https://www.amandadames.com/offers/9fk5ewdh/checkout
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Allana Pratt, emotional intimacy coach, author, and host of the Intimate Conversations podcast. They explore the difference between the ego and the soul, why healing trauma leads to better kink and more authentic desire, and how to stop sabotaging relationships by coming home to your body. Allana also discusses her work with clients using low-dose psilocybin and cannabis to access the subconscious, integrate wounds, and create lasting change.
If you have ever felt stuck in patterns, disconnected from your body, or wondered how trauma affects your kink and relationships, this episode offers a compassionate and eye-opening conversation on healing and embodiment.
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Allana Pratt
https://allanapratt.com/patreon/
https://www.instagram.com/allanapratt/
https://www.youtube.com/user/AlanaPratt
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Samia Mounts returns for a deep conversation on dismantling the patriarchy, polyamory, and how we can all break free from the systems that hold us back.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest Samia Mounts, voice actor and host of the Happy Slut podcast. They explore how patriarchy harms everyone, including men, and why dismantling it leads to better sex and deeper connection. They discuss the male loneliness epidemic, why women are not experiencing the same level of loneliness, and how men are cut off from their emotions from a young age.
They also explore the connection between polyamory, sexual autonomy, and feminism, why women are reclaiming their desire, and how competitive versus caretaker dynamics play out in society. If you have ever wondered how patriarchy affects your sex life and relationships, this episode offers a compelling and thought-provoking conversation.
Somatica Episode: I’m Moving For A Man?!? https://youtu.be/kkAWOiQ4UnM?si=ST0H1gxx6NV3UEyz
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Samia Mounts
https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkJT8ttJYCyIS8ig6gZ7pA
https://www.tiktok.com/@samia.mounts
https://www.samiamounts.com/podcast
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Licensed clinician and author Caroline Hood joins the podcast to discuss the truth about female desire, the impact of mental load, and how to navigate mismatched libido in relationships.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Caroline Hood, a licensed clinician and author of the upcoming book Sex Begets Sex: Reclaiming Desire as an Act of Female Empowerment. Caroline shares practical advice on how to start conversations about intimacy without blame, why scheduled sex can actually be helpful, and how couples can rebuild connection after years of drifting apart. They also discuss the double standards women face around pleasure, the importance of deconditioning shame, and why oral sex should never have been categorized as foreplay.
If you have ever felt disconnected from your desire, struggled with mismatched libido in your relationship, or wanted to reclaim your sexual identity, this episode offers compassionate, actionable guidance.
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Caroline Hood
https://www.desireinreallife.com/
https://www.instagram.com/desireinreallife/
https://substack.com/@desireinreallife
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Cate Osborn aka Catieosaurus returns to discuss ADHD, kink, neurodivergent relationships, and how to build sustainable dynamics that work with your brain.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Cate Osborn, award-winning educator and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults. They discuss how ADHD impacts kink dynamics, why structure is so important for neurodivergent doms, and how burnout and overcommitment can derail even the best-intentioned relationships.
Cate shares what she has learned from touring her live show, the questions she gets from audiences, and why people just want to be seen. They also explore the intersection of ADHD, sex, and intimacy, and why validation and positive reinforcement are so important for doms too. If you are neurodivergent, kinky, or both, this episode offers practical advice and real talk about making your relationships work with your brain, not against it.
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Catieosaurus
https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Melancholy Ghost, Missouri title holder and boundaries educator, joins the podcast to discuss how to set, communicate, and protect boundaries in kink.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Melancholy Ghost where they discuss the difference why boundaries are essential for safe play, and what to do when someone crosses a line. Melancholy shares her framework for successful negotiations, including the CATS MEOW method she created to help people remember the key elements of communication, attentiveness, time, safety, and observing warning signs. They also explore the history of the leather community, what it means to be an asexual kinkster, and why trust must be earned and not freely given.
If you have ever struggled with setting boundaries, knowing how to enforce them, or navigating negotiations in kink, this episode offers practical tools and real talk about protecting yourself and your relationships.
Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 off
Connect with Melancholy Ghost:
https://www.instagram.com/missmelancholyghost/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Amanda and her dom sit down for an honest conversation about how they navigate boundaries, fear, and communication in their 24/7 dynamic.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda shares a conversation she had with her dom a few months ago where they talk about how they navigate boundaries day to day, the fears that come up for both of them, and how they communicate through the hard stuff. Her dom shares how he models the behavior he wants to see, why consistency is everything, and how he handles bratting, resistance, and mid-scene check-ins. They also explore the role of fear in a BDSM dynamic, the difference between alpha subs and brats, and why communication is the foundation of everything.
If you have ever wondered what a 24/7 dynamic actually looks like behind closed doors, this episode offers an unfiltered look at the real work that goes into making it sustainable.
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Kristen Aut returns to discuss how to date without losing yourself, break free from obsessive patterns, and step into your Hot Girl Energy this summer.
Sign-up for the Hot Girl Energy Workshop here: http://www.amandadames.com/hotgirlenergy
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and obsession coach, Kristen Aut. They discuss the patterns that keep women stuck in obsessive dating cycles, why women lose themselves so quickly when they feel chemistry, how to hold excitement without projecting it onto someone else, and why "pick me energy" is out. They also talk about their two-day Hot Girl Energy workshop designed to help women choose themselves, hold their own energy, and stop settling for situationships.
If you have ever lost yourself in a relationship or found yourself obsessing over someone who was not right for you, this episode offers practical tools and real talk about breaking the cycle.
Connect with Kristen Aut
https://www.instagram.com/thekristenaut/
https://www.newbadassyou.com/1to1support
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Miz Darling returns to discuss how to tell your partner about your fetish, navigate shame and fear, and build healthy relationships around kink.
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and good friend Miz Darling for a conversation about one of the most common questions in the fetish community: how do you tell your partner about your fetish? They explore why shame stops so many people from having the conversation at all, including the story of a client who was considering divorce and an affair before ever speaking to his wife about his desires.
Amanda and Miz Darling also discuss their upcoming book, Complicated Pleasures, which explores how fetishists navigate long-term relationships and whether it is possible to make things work with a vanilla partner. If you have ever struggled with telling your partner about your fetish, this episode offers practical advice, reassurance, and real talk about shame, fear, and connection.
Know More About The Book Here:
https://complicatedpleasures.ca/
Connect with Miz Darling
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultLarah Sky is back for another unfiltered conversation covering social media frustrations, kink cruise experiences, and chastity culture.
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and real-life friend Larah Sky. They dive into their experience on the kink cruise that they went to together, including the difference between kinksters and swingers and why many swingers are curious about kink but hesitant to ask. They discuss chastity culture and why Larah believes every man should own a cage, even if he does not wear it every day. They also explore the frustrations of being a sex worker on mainstream platforms, including bot attacks, account bans, and the challenges of maintaining an online presence.
Tune in to hear about what happens on a kink cruise, why chastity is about focus and not denial, and what it is really like to be a sex worker navigating social media.
Connect with Larah Sky
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Kinky relationships and vanilla relationships might have more in common than you think.
This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda speaks with Simone Milasas, global facilitator, author, and creator of Access Consciousness, to talk about how the relationship advice she gives to vanilla couples applies just as powerfully to kinky relationships and BDSM dynamics. They cover the five elements of intimacy you need to build with yourself before you can offer them to a partner, the concept of a "creationship" and how it differs from a traditional relationship, and the one question that can either deepen your connection or finally give you both the clarity to move on.
Tune in, get brutally honest with yourself, and find out what becomes possible in your kinky relationships when you stop telling yourself the story that's been keeping you stuck.
Connect with Simone Milasas
https://www.simonemilasas.com/
https://www.instagram.com/simonemilasas/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNJfnEjT/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.amandadames.com/
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Why does the word "masculinity" feel so loaded? I went looking for answers, and found the perfect person to break it down.
In this episode, I sit down with Matt Salis, a behavioral health writer and researcher with a master's degree in sexual health and over a decade of experience in addiction and emotional abuse recovery. We get into the difference between toxic masculinity and what Matt calls emotional masculinity and why the manosphere is selling men a losing strategy. We also talk about emotional safety, resentment processing, the connection between vulnerability and sexual satisfaction, and how the consent culture in the kink community offers a model for healthier relationships everywhere.
If you have ever wondered what masculinity looks like without the toxicity, or how emotional intimacy actually impacts your sex life, this conversation is going to change the way you think about both. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.
Connect with Matt Salis
https://soberandunashamed.com/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Finding your perfect match is already hard enough. Now try finding one who also matches you in the kink department.
In this episode, I sit down with Shea Primus, CEO and founder of Upper Echelon Matchmaking, for a conversation about what kinky dating actually looks like when you get serious about finding the right person. We talk about how she went from vanilla matchmaker to scouting FetLife events and kink parties for her clients, the most common mistakes kinky singles make when dating, and what it really takes to find someone who is compatible with both your lifestyle and your dynamic. We also get into her own kink journey, boundaries, and why knowing exactly what you want is the most powerful thing you can bring to the search.
If you have been navigating kinky dating and feeling like the odds are stacked against you, this episode is going to shift your perspective in the best way. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.
Connect with Shea Primus
https://upperechelonmatchmaking.com/
https://instagram.com/shaeprimusmatchmaker
Connect with Amanda
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey:https://www.amandadames.com/store
Ever wondered what life looks like when you have a 24/7 kink dynamic, a career in the sex space, and a child to raise? Get seated because Athena Gale is giving us a sneak peek of what it actually looks like.
In this episode, I sit down with Athena Gale, intimacy and kink expert, sex copywriter, and mom of an almost 11-year-old, to talk about what it genuinely looks like to be a kinky parent. We get into how she maintains a 24/7 dynamic while raising a child, how she handles age-appropriate conversations about bodies, sex, and consent in a house full of sex toys, and why your kink life does not have to disappear the moment kids enter the picture. She also shares her practical advice for kinky parents who feel like they have had to put that part of themselves on hold, including the one thing she does every single week to keep her dynamic grounded no matter how busy life gets.
If you are a kinky parent trying to figure out how to hold onto your dynamic, or you are just curious what that life looks like behind the scenes, this episode is for you. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.
Connect with Athena Gale
https://www.instagram.com/athena_gayle/
https://www.thesexcopywriter.com/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey:https://www.amandadames.com/store
I was invited onto the podcast Couples Therapy in 7 Words with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander, two proudly vanilla people who sat down with me to ask the exact questions so many people secretly have about kink, BDSM, fetishes, sexual shame, and desire. I loved this conversation so much that I immediately asked if I could re-share it here for all of you.
In this episode, we talk about what kink actually is, some misconceptions about BDSM, and the difference between a kink and a fetish. I also talk about why so many people struggle to communicate their sexual desires, and how shame keeps people trapped in silence for years. We dive into consensual non-consent, primal play, cross-dressing, fetish exploration, relationship compatibility, dom/sub dynamics, masculinity, vulnerability, and why kinky people often become better communicators than many vanilla couples. This conversation goes far beyond sex and becomes a grounded discussion about BDSM relationships, emotional honesty, and healthy communication in intimate relationships.
If you’ve ever felt confused about kink, curious about BDSM, or simply wanted a more compassionate and realistic conversation about kink education, this episode is for you.
Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander
https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/
Watch Our Episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Wacw1Cz7JfM
See you at Hedonism II this October! Use the code TKC50 to get $200 off! https://www.swinkation.com/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey:https://www.amandadames.com/store
Dating coach, Connell Barrett returns to the podcast and this time we’re diving into one of the biggest questions people struggle with in dating: how the hell do you actually bring up kink?
In this episode, we talk about how to introduce kink naturally without making someone feel objectified, overwhelmed, or unsafe. Connell shares his perspective as someone who explored the kink world through Feeld, how he rewrote his dating profile to attract kinky women without coming across as creepy, and why “normal” is one of the sexiest compliments you can receive on a dating app. We also get into flirting versus fawning, masculine leadership in dating, why so many men are terrified of being perceived as creepy, and how self-doubt is quietly ruining modern dating. Plus, we unpack why submissive men still need leadership energy, why women often want men to lead the date regardless of kink dynamic, and why kink is really just flirting dialled all the way up.
If you’ve ever struggled with talking about sex, introducing kink, or reading the room on a date this episode is for you!
Connect with Connell Barrett
https://datingtransformation.com/
https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformation/
See you at Hedonism II this October! Use the code TKC50 to get $200 off! https://www.swinkation.com/
Connect with Amanda
https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult
Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560
Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey:https://www.amandadames.com/store