gospodin​{Married}

dom male

I am a kinky man in a loving and committed marriage with a vanilla woman. It's been a long hard road coming to terms with my kink and the lack of avenues for expression, but I have had the benefit of many fine examples to live by. My avatar is a symbol I constructed from the Leather Pride flag, showing how my heart is divided but both keep beating.

I often describe Gospodin as a separate person from my vanilla self. This is not meant literally, but that I have two identities that fight for expression. I tend to think of them in terms of film and theatre:

• Edward Scissorhands was the earliest embodiment. Lost and confused and being dragged out of the dark, but with desires so clumsy they could hurt anyone who came too close. So I kept myself hidden, but that risked...


• Tyler Durden is the selfish nihilist, envious of the world he only gets to walk between the spaces of waking life. Left in control, he would bring down all society just to be free. We can't let that happen, so we take the oath of...


• The Hungry Tiger of Oz whose appetite was for darker things, but his only way of dealing with it was to abstain entirely. “Hungry I was born, and hungry I shall die. But I’ll not have any cruel deeds on my conscience to be sorry for.” With that vow, the only life is in a kingdom of isolation...


• Queen Elsa built towers of ice in which she found beauty, alone atop a mountain where no one could be hurt by the power that flows from her. Alas, this can't last, but there was one hope...


• Willy Wonka, living in a world of pure imagination, crafted golden tickets to seek out someone who was enough like him to join this life. Alas, he was too erratic to succeed, and all visitors left empty-handed. And that's me out of options, so GospodinP is now...


• The War Doctor What I do online, I do in the name of peace and love and sanity, but not in my True Name. I'm going to live out the rest of my life in the closet; and as much as that pains me, I benefit greatly from the wealth of stories and experiences of people who've lived through closets of their own. And so I am also two people...


• Glinda and Elphaba I chose to keep my privilege, ride bubbles and wield the shamefully false authority I inherited. My disfigurement lives on in secret, hidden from polite society. No one mourns the wicked. I won't be missed. Perhaps that's the hardest fact of all to bear.