I got into this long before the internet existed. I had an ex ask me to tie her up so she could enjoy what i was doing to her, without worrying about what she should be doing. For some reason, even way back then, I instinctively knew it was her choice to be tied up. So I made loops in the rope and made her twist her hands in them so she knew she could get out if she so desired. Later when the internet came around and I figured out I wasn't the only "weird" one out there, I realized I had "built in" a safeword so to speak. That was when I was in my early 20's and I haven't looked back since then. I will never claim to know it all, but I might have learned a few tricks or two ;) Have been lucky enough to explore several diff aspects of Dominance and seem to enjoy most of them. always willing to offer advice and have been a mentor to several close friends thru the years. Would love to find a true pain slut as those are few and hard to find, also love DD and have been pleasantly surprised at the number of younger women that like older men LOL And lastly, always looking for subs that are interested in Hypnosis. I think Hypnosis was almost designed for D&s. Watching the look on someones face when they realize I texted them to orgasm, and they realize that is exactly what is happening to them. Submisives tend to make very good subjects and honestly, its more down to the subject that's being put under than it is about the Hypnotist. Submissivness just tends to lean towards making good hypnosis subjects.
Most men aren't smart enough to realize that the higher you elevate your woman, the less available she is for other men. When you break her down, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better.
10 cold hard facts about submission:
If the Dominant wants to collar you before meeting you, building with you, getting to really know you they are a control freak NOT dominant.
submission is inspired not demanded, only the insecure demand it.
Sending naked pictures of yourself to a so called Dom because he demands them is not submission it’s feeding his collection of pictures to get off to.
You choose to submit to One and one alone.
The submissive holds the power in a D/s relationship but gives it freely to their Dominant.
There is no place in this life for abuse, everything is consensual.
A Dominant never ignores their submissive.
A Dominant is always in control of their feelings at all times.
Dominance and submission are states of mind not something that is turned on and off.
A submissive is an equal and will always be treated with respect
Facts of a Dominant
1.Courtesy - They have politeness and good manners in the traditional sense of the word and will show this to all they communicate with whether via e mail or within chat rooms.
2.Respect – They will always be respectful in their approaches, showing an appreciation of the other and being mindful of how their communication is perceived.
3.Honesty – They will be totally honest in how they communicate, ask a question they will answer it in a detailed way, there will be nothing vague. They will tell you their thoughts when required.
4.Integrity – They will be consistent in their interactions with you, you will always know where you stand. There is no hidden agenda.
5.Confident – Do not confuse confidence with arrogance, they know and understand themselves in all aspects of their life. They will not be boastful but will give their opinions specially when asked.
6.Selfless – They will want to know about you rather than telling you about themselves. They will have provided the majority of information for early communication on their profiles so have no need to talk about themselves unless you ask when they will be happy to provide the additional details.
7.Unassuming – They do not make a big issue over things, their focus is on the girl not themselves. They have no need of causing or being part of any drama, they will state their opinion and qualify it where and when needed.
8.Knowledgeable – I nearly wrote intelligent or educated but settled on knowledgeable as it is more fitting and easier for me to qualify. They understand what a submissive needs, understand the deeper cerebral aspects of D/s, understand it is not just about sex and certainly understand that it is the submissive that holds the power within a D/s relationship and that she chooses to give it freely.
9.Assertive – There is a power in how they communicate, it holds the readers attention, makes them want to know more, piques the interest. It is this that gets them noticed, makes them stand out. Not the posturing, aggressive, crass and down right obscene ranting that some mistake for overt misguided displays of dominance.
10.Chivalrous – (adj) (of a man or his behavior) courteous and gallant, especially towards women. They do challenge inappropriate behavior, make no apology for doing so and will always do so.
In short they are consummate gentlemen, this is first and foremost and their dominance is an enhancement to this, an important part of the greater whole person. They see their submissive as their most treasured possession, one to cherish and nurture, one to guide and allow to be the best they can be under their dominance. They do not just see the girl as she is but see how she will become. They see her as the yin to their yang.
They inspire submission
Not too many. Best ice breaker is a well filled out BDSM checklist
The dabblers who call themselves submissives usually have no idea what submission involves.
If you enjoy being restrained during sex… you are not necessarily submissive.
If you are attracted to a strong-willed man… you are not necessarily submissive.
If you wear a collar and know how to nadu… you are not necessarily submissive.
If you always do what everyone tells you to do… you are not necessarily submissive.
If you cooperate with a Master because you have no choice… you are not necessarily a submissive.
If you allow a Master to do only what you want him to do… you probably are not submissive.
If you tell a Master only what you think will get you laid… you probably are not submissive.
If you think you could roleplay as submissive sometimes… you probably are not submissive.
What are the differences between a bogus submissive and a genuine one? To me, the difference is a matter of character and nature. Some people play a submissive role. But some of us find that submission reveals our truest selves, our deepest, most authentic nature. Submission isn’t about what we do. Submission is about who we are.
Does the idea of surrendering complete control of yourself to a trusted Master thrill you? Does the excitement increase the more you surrender? Are you turned on by the thought of permanently abandoning your will to his? If so, then you probably are a submissive.
On the other hand, if it fills you with dread and suspicion, you probably are not a submissive.
The acid test between whether your a sub or a slave comes the first time the Master directs you to do something you really don’t want to do. Many women are willing to play a submissive role temporarily—as long as she trusts that the Master will do exactly what she wants him to do to please her. There is nothing wrong with that. But it isn’t submission, it’s just cooperation. True submission is complete surrender. Of course you want pleasure, and a good Master wants that for you. But TPE submission means completely letting go of your own will, and trusting him, without setting your own pleasure as a condition. For a true submissive, that very act of surrender is the pleasure—that intoxicating rush of letting go and giving yourself to him.