|Florida, United States|
In a monogamous relationship
I'm a very honest person and will always tell you the truth. I am loyal and faithful to a fault. I’m an emotional creature. I’m driven by my emotions most of the time. I sometimes even absorb others’ emotions. Which makes me not want to be around too many people most of the time. I enjoy reading. Books make me happy. I prefer tea over coffee but won’t turn down a good cup of coffee if offered. I have a small case (okay...a huge case) of OCD but don’t mind it. I am shy. I’m also the clumsy dork that loves to laugh and make you laugh. A good sense of humor is a must. I have three children...two boys and one girl. They are my life and priority.
I am not a jealous woman but I DO NOT like to share. I am not poly and will never be able to be one. I am a one man woman. I do not mind inviting a third person in for treats and rewards only. Going from one person to another is not my style. Though I am new to this lifestyle, this is something I am taking very serious. This is definitely not a game for me.
BDSM and me
At 14, I had my first boyfriend. He was 15. Though we did not live (or know about) the lifestyle...he ruled my life. I saw the world through his eyes only. There was nothing I did that he didn’t approve of first. The relationship ended after two years and I was devasted. He left a void in me that has yet to be filled. I was lost. Who would tell me what I needed to do now? The simplest tasks became a struggle. It took me all of high school to get over him completely. But the scars he left still feel fresh.
Earlier this year I had one brief encounter with a man that unlocked my door and set me free. We met by chance in a vanilla dating app (my friend made me download it because she said I needed to go out and meet people). He then left abruptly and then I felt something familiar. It was a feeling I recognized from many, many years ago. I felt lost once again. I read and researched and found The Cage.
I then met a local Dom. We talked for a bit and decided to meet in person and get to know each other more. We both liked what we saw and heard. We continued to talk. Finally, we had one session. It was a fun time and I did enjoy myself. But I really didn’t feel a real connection. We agreed to go our own way to find someone better suited for each of us.
Not too long after opening my account on The Cage, I received a “Welcome” message from someone. I read His profile and wanted to run for the hills. He scared the crap out of me but my heart told me to respond and I did. He wasn’t trying to be my Dom or anything. But I felt I had to tell Him that I wasn’t a match for Him but asked if He would please help guide me. He said yes and He did. For a while I kept running away from Him because I was terrified of Him. But my heart eventually won and I couldn’t fight what I had felt for Him from the very beginning. I broke down and told Him how I felt and He told me He knew...He was just waiting for me. We’ve been together since then. We’ve met twice in the nine months we’ve been together. Both weekends have been challenging and a rollercoaster of emotions. Though the love is there...we have yet to find a perfect balance for both of us. Let’s see what the future has in store.
To be discussed.
Kinda confused. Not really sure where I stand anymore. should I just give up? I don’t know!!
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Thursday, January 11, 2018