Today I learned something that I've always told family, friends and the people that mean the most to me.
"It's ok to not be ok." Anyone who knows the real me knows that I am a firm believer of this. I always try to be the strong shoulder or voice of reason to the people that truly mean something to me in my life. I'm the friend that shoots the message "hey you ok?" And then will drop the line after when they say yes. The dad that says it to his daughter, or the Daddy that will with little one. I've always been the kind to be strong. Today I realized, thanks to My girl, that I should take my advice and lead with example when it comes to my kiddo. 15 years and I honestly can't think of a time that she has ever seen her dad cry. I've always been the rock. The solid state emotionally and always have been able to keep it together no matter the situation.
This afternoon, I couldn't. While it made her cry more because of the situation, baby girl told me it was good for her to see her dad is human and does cry. To let her see it is truly ok not to be ok and that it is ok to cry. Damn. I never thought that me being strong and holding it down could be showing her the exact opposite of what I've always tried to teach her. That its ok to go to the people that mean the most. Its ok to be vulnerable and its ok to show your emotions and to not have it together. In "holding it together," I guess I was showing her different than what I have always told her. Damn.....
Thank you little one