The time is getting closer and closer for my first appointment with my endocrinologist. I've literally started counting down the days. As of right now it's 17 days till my first appointment. I'm nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. Things with my date have progressed farther as well we have decided to get married and have set a date as well. She has been so supportive of me and my decision to transition into a male. She has her worries as well especially after hearing from others whose partners are or have transitioned and the toll it took on those relationships. Even through her fear though she is still sticking by my side and has decided to go with me to every appointment that I have. I don't know what I did to deserve her but I have never been as happy as I am with her by my side and supporting me. She takes such great care of me and loves my children as if they were her own and they love her as well. They have even begun calling her mom and they have been calling me dad which fills me with such joy. I thought they would be the ones to have the hardest time accepting this change in their lives but all they have said on the matter is that they are happy as long as I am and this way they have both a mom and a dad. We asked them what would they tell someone who asks where there mom is and who is their mom and they all just say well just cuz our dad was the one that gave birth to us Emily is mom and mom is now dad and we wouldn't have it any other way. lol Children and their resilience amazes me. So far Emily and my children are the only ones that have come to full terms with my transition. Occasionally they will fuck up and use the wrong name or pronouns but that is to be expected but everyone else just keeps using my old name and pronouns and a part of me wants to snap every time they do. I don't exactly know whether I should correct them or just give it time just as well I don't exactly know if it is just an absence of their minds or whether it because they refuse to accept it but don't have the ability to say so to my face I don't know how long I should wait to let them keep messing up before I correct them and start showing how upset it makes me that they refuse to change it. I got a new job and I actually love it alot more than I thought I would especially since I just sit here all night not really doing anything except watching the lot. I thought I would end up going crazy and hating it since I don't exactly do anything really but it's actually really nice to not have to break my body for a paycheck and I can still get my stuff that I need to do done and I don't miss to much time from my family either but the biggest thing I don't like about it is that Emily is at the house sleeping while I'm awake which makes it so that I end up having to sleep without her as well once I get home but at least I get a few hours in the morning before the kids wake up once I get home but I also don't want to wake her either when I get home so in a sense we are both still kinda sleeping alone but I only work 4 nights a week so the rest of the week I get to sleep next to her just going to take time for my body to get back to that type of schedule where I stay awake for the 4 days all night then awake all day and sleep all night the other 3 days but I've done it before I can do it again it will just take some time lol.
Sry for the ramble and the chaouticness of the post but I needed to get it off my chest and write it out to someone any one and cant post it on Facebook cuz then I won't hear the end of it from the rest of my family.
I do have a problem though that maybe some one can help me with so my and Emily are both brats and both submissive and I'm also a little and it has really put a strain on our relationship cuz alot of the time one of us needs a Dom and the other tries to help but doesn't do such a good job since we aren't exactly domanit and both need that type of really dominance in our lives or our minds get the better of us. So any advice would be apprietated.
