My Little side had a tiny dose of attention this week. She received affection. Long cuddles, gentle strokes and held down kisses. It left me feeling light, happy and hopeful. Best part was i completely underestimated this person. He came from nowhere and pulled me in. His space was calm, affectionate and respectful.
I think one of the worst things for a little sometimes is to dream. I try my hardest to stay level headed most times. To not let my heart run away from me. But sometimes no matter how hard I try that little girl just wants to dream.
Today though, a few days after her dose of cuddles and kisses her dreams were washed away. By the words of saying he thought our connection was strong, that he thinks im amazing and interesting but he can only offer play and no more. Now i really was doing well at being level headed this time. I was just taking it as it comes.
But in one foul swoop the idea of more was chopped off at the knees. Not just for me but him too. He was equally upset and talked to me all day. I can't help feel like we are missing out on something truely and deeply amazing. All because i struggle to just simply play. Im too sensitive. And he is not ready for more.
I've heard a saying before that when you meet someone and it feels like it's just wrong timing, it's not the timing it's the person. How can it be wrong when it felt so comfortable, so connected and so easy.
So tonight my Little is trying to shelter under blankets but it's not working. When I close my eyes I remember our cuddles and how he felt laying next to me. Relaxing to my touch. Today I comforted him and said it was ok. That i understood.... i guess someone forgot to tell my Little that
