We all have different versions of a unicorn. Different requirements, different desires. Sometimes we think we know what we want and other times questioning whether we can bend the rules. But the reality is I think we only bend the rules when we get tired of looking for that unicorn. It's ok to want what we want. And it can be tiring and lonely as we wait and look for that person or persons. I think one of the hardest things to do is to stay true to yourself. Many people will try and convince you that they are perfect for you. Promise you the world. These are the ones that I'm cautious of. I rather the ones who are real who have baggage and issues because that makes them human. Nobody is perfect and I don't want perfect. I just want the one who is perfect for me.
I was contemplating whether I was missing out on opportunities and special connections by not bending my rules. But these rules are more than that, they are my morals. If I lose sight of my morals then I Lose Myself. I feel that I could very easily enter something casual that offered me false hope. But in the end I would still be searching for the same thing. I feel that it would be more damaging to be with somebody who does not necessarily cherish me the way that I need. Who doesn't want only me. I wish to be enough, I wish to be their everything, not there something in between. And return they deserve more than that from me as well.
I can't bend my morals, I have to have faith that in time when I am more settled things will fall my way.