I feel fortunate to have had friends who have helped me in my growth. Guide me and keep me safe. I find myself this morning sitting on my balcony thinking of my past and counting my blessings. Feeling nostalgic with a tear in my eye but from happiness not sorrow.
I feel especially grateful to have had a kind and strict dominant who took me in (metaphorically) and showed me domination through love. At times I feel I am too picky or that I will be alone for a long time. What he showed me was beautiful and it has set such a high standard of what i expect from a person I choose as my one. The compassion, love mixed with dominance and cheek.
Even though things did not end the way I had hoped I have only fond memories. And on top of that I still (hope) that I carry some of the things that he gave me. Confidence, etiquette, standards (not just for myself but also for those i choose to let into my bubble) and humility. I would hope that if we met again he would be proud of me. Funny how i still try to impress a ghost. I guess its just the way I am and I'm ok with that.
Love does not fade. It grows. It evolves. Sometimes to something completely different from where it started. Although now things are different, the thought of you still makes me smile and I am grateful for all that you gave me. It has helped me know my direction and keep my standards. Today I thought would be a good day for me to do some internal quiet contemplation of how I am staying true to myself. Reflect on the things I have learnt and possibly bring some of those things back into my life.
When I stumble I have my friends who still help guide me. So today with all this uncertainty around me I am reflective and I feel humbled.
Stay safe
