Being seen has been a fear of mine. Especially being seen sexually, in my true feminine self. To be loving, soft, sensual and desireable was reserved for only those close to me. Which was not many because that too was difficult. Constantly kept in a state of on guard from the evils and enemies.... from myself. It was all from myself.
Stepping out of that fear and embracing myself. Not worried of past judgements, they do not control me. Trying to step through my own perceptions. To evolve and gain true understanding of myself.
Its ok to be seen. To be desired. To be sexual. I can do these things and still remain true to myself. We are all many things, not one word or action defines us. Im allowed to be a contradiction to myself, from who I was yesterday and who I might be tomorrow. Im an introvert by nature but i still wish to be seen. Fear has led that desire to hide. Im also wondering if fear is what causes my need to be accepted. They run hand in hand.
To not be seen but to be accepted.
To not be perceived a certain way but the need to please.
Contradictions. One side of the scale to the other. No balance in between. Driven by fear and need. So deep that I did not even notice its actions and driving forces. Placed there by others and then I made them my own.
So lets try a new approach. Love. Gratitude and kindness. Towards myself. To enable myself and not hand my definitions and emotions to someone else. Through blame of their actions or words I am giving that person my power and disabling me.....
🥂 So here is to being seen, here is to being more fearless, vulnerable, loving of self and gratitude for everything good or bad that comes my way.
So today I walk around with Alicia Keys playing in my head..... This girl is on fire...... Fire for myself to love myself. Today is a day of lingerie and rope. Because it makes me happy, it makes me feel beautiful and sexy. Its a part of me and I'm embracing it. I dont need to show everything to be sexy and thats not me. But to not be seen at all is also not healthy. Today is balance. Today is love, acceptance and kindness. 💕🤟