I have come to accept that my life is full. There always seems to be something happening and I'm forever busy. That's not necessarily a good thing. For someone who loves routine, prefers the attention of the few rather than the many, and is content sitting silently in nature, my life is anything but those things. I have definitely become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Mostly because the things that fill up the majority of my times are aimed towards my passion or fueling and supporting that purpose. With all of this business it has quieten my mind. I dont have time for things that do not fulfill me in some form. I know that might sound selfish but it's actually quite liberating. Not concerning myself with external expectations or perceptions of me.
Sometimes though I truely wonder how another person will fit into this life Im creating. Staying busy keeps me happy but is also my weakness and vulnerability. Im aware that it is possibly a force field I use to keep people at bay. Even though my life is full my heart is not. My magical invisibility cloak that lets me go unnoticed just the way I like it.
I am finding though my focus is lacking and i have a mindset that keeps saying "just keep going a little while longer". Sometimes I wish to stop but I cant. Then I'd just be stuck in the mud in the middle and that is not where I wish to be either. Doing things you dont want to do, to get to the place you want to be is a humbling and difficult path. I guess you could say its character building? Perseverance... even when the passion is low.