Sometimes my innocence and inexperience can be...... difficult. It can make me retract very quickly, which means basically that i miss out on an experience. And i dont necessarily mean sexually. It is mostly socially. Im not socially awkward but i am quiet. So to attend munches, events and classes when i know nobody, can be daunting to the point i do not wish to attend.
In a room full of extravagant people I can seem rather ordinary. However being the silence in a room full of noise has its advantages. I am actively trying to make an effort to meet more kinky people in my area but i realised today that being me is ok. And yes i have always been just me. What i mean is, because I am actively seeking to explore myself does not mean i loose myself. Infact i feel my personality traits that i used to see as a flaw I now embrace. I can still get out there but protect myself in the process.
I met a lovely bunch of people today. Loud, lovely and instantly protective of me. Welcoming and cheeky. We had fun making new toys. And i now have a group of people im getting to know who can hopefully help guide me.