Why do we submit? Why would we possibly want to give so much of ourselves to somebody?
Have you ever thought and pondered your own submission. As in why you do it? Where does it come from? Whether you think you are born this way or not. ... why do you do it????
When we are presented with a request, instruction or task that we don't like the idea of or is completely challenging, what makes us hand over control, silence the doubts in our minds and give when we thought we couldn't or wouldn't. The answer.......
The answer is as technical as the complicated task yet extremely simple to categorize. It is not just one element. And everyone's reasons or percentages of the below will differ. We enter into these in depth relationships craving deep connection and acceptance of self. To do this we battle many elements BUT to get there takes a couple of simple ingredients, it is only the portions that change. It takes trust, happiness and love. Could it really be that simple?
Trust. Built on honesty. Deep conversations. Communication on thoughts and feelings, desires and limits. Building up of physical experiences and play. Gradual handover of self as that trust builds. Knowledge that they do not intend to break you.
Happiness. The feeling of being fulfilled by making others happy. To put yourself last to help someone else, because that makes you feel valued. You have found your place with a person who you trust to guide and care for you. Without taking advantage of you. That they show their affection and desire for you. Someone who needs you as much as you need them. Filling up your cup. Hapiness for me also clears the mind. It deletes those doubts.
Which leads us to love. Yes love. Just because you have a BDSM relationship does not mean it differs from the hearts of vanilla relationships. Although we would all most likely argue we feel more. We delve deeper and are more connected, which is one of the aspects that most of us love. To know the inner workings of our partner. To be the only thing that they ever need. To be wanted, mentally, sexually and emotionally.
So as we kneel on aching knees, eyes glued to that of our Masters/Sirs/Daddys/Dommes eyes. Seeking their approval. Seeking those words we all love to hear that lift us up to the rafters. That we have pleased them. That they know it was something we hated yet we did it anyway and would probably do it again. Because we belong to them...... and that makes us happy. Cherished. Wanted. Adored. Loved. Devoted...... that makes us want to give more, be pushed more. To satisfy their beast and have them purr in their sleep.
Its that look. That smile. That kiss. To know they have your heart but more importantly that you have theirs. That is why i do it. What about you?
