Silent Observations

Everybody has a checklist whether they like to admit it or not. We all have certain things that we like, desire or are simply attracted to in another person. So what happens if you meet someone who has all the boxes ticked yet the pull is not there. Do we throw those boxes away and start again? Reinvent what we beleive we want or follow where our hearts lead us.
This process has me questioning if I am scared of my own desires. Am i scared to be with someone who ticks all those boxes. Because I find myself making excuses and believing im not good enough. So I stay below my standard because they like me. Am I really that self involved???? Or does it come down to my acknowledgment of self worth. By staying where i am comfortable I am not allowing myself to open up. I say that I want A B C and D and here he is yet I find myself trying to find faults. And so far with him I can not, so I pick on myself. The walls are up. Im not sure if it is to keep them out...... or to keep me in. ...