I hear regularly people talking of their submission as being exposed and difficult. A struggle even. They feel something is wrong with them because of xyz.....
Now dont get me wrong I understand this and feel this way sometimes too. But it got me thinking if our mindsets are slightly skewed. When I think about what I want, it doesn't scare me. Although the journey is hard I am striving for something beautiful and I hope and plan to get there. Because we make our own reality. And that in part is my point.
By placing expectations upon ourselves as to "who we should be" is kind of dangerous. Nobody can live up to an ideal. I feel that my submission to someone yes will be difficult but also it will not be forced. When we have taken time to build that friendship that then leads to more I will be bursting at the seems to be called his. It is not about changing who I am. Yes I definitely would have evolved and I will continue to. But opening up to somebody is to me actually a beautiful thing and not something to be feared. Obviously I am gaurded to those who have to earn to see that side. If they do not earn it then it does not feel natural and THAT is how i know we are suited or not. Not from a checklist of do our kinks align? Am i the right look/size for him.
There should be that pull.
That need.
That unrelenting desire.
That only comes from communication, time with eachother (without kink and play) but actually learning about the person in front of me. He should be just as open as me. If he's not that is a major red flag.
I accept that this process might take me years and years. But i will not drop my standards. I will not do something for the sake of gaining experience if it makes me uncomfortable or doesn't feel right. My journey as a submissive is yes about opening up but its also about love and care of myself. Accepting myself. Because if i dont then how can i expect them to?
Im totally sure that i went off point here and i will probably try again another day lol. Spend your time reading and exploring safely my friends. Trust your gutt and dont change your standards for anyone.
Much love
Star