"Im not myself lately
Im foolish, I don't do this
Ive been playing myself"
It appears that my inner bitch likes to play mental games with me. To set up traps. To make me doubt myself.
Its not easy being a heartfelt person. Feeling everything constantly is tiring. Wanting to be wanted will drive me insane. I dont really know why I do these things. And the worst part is I can see myself doing it. I beg me to stop but I keep going.
I need to take a breath.
I need to step back.
I want to hand that control back.
I'm willing to.
I'm begging to.
Screaming from the inside.
Drowning in myself.
I tasted it before and I want it again. But more. To touch and feel.
For now I need to accept my reality, and reject the fantasy. I need to stop dreaming and clinging on to something that might not be. Stop falling for the story tales in my mind. The ones that SHE sets. As she sits there smirking at me. Watching me trip over myself. I want her out of my head. She is only ever trouble....... My bitch......My sweet pretty little bitch.
