Desiring
So difficult when your single. Feeling switched on with no release. Because the release i desire has so many elements its crazy. I want to be taken out of my mind, my body pushed to exhaustion and then kissed and adored after. To know i am wanted, adored, safe, loved and cherished. Like so many of us i know here crave.
"Im scared" i said
He smiled and says "I know"
Star "What if i can not give you everything you desire. What happens if i get to a point i can not go any further. You want so much from me. You want ALL of me."
Dark "I do...... but it is a progression.
Everything I’ve said, deep down I believe you want it.
You are super cautious.
Reason cause if you give yourself to that level, you are scared if it ended how it would leave you emotionally and mentally.
That is your roadblock.
I have always said i will never push or force you, this is to come from you. From your desire. I want you to come to me at your pace"
Star "Yes that is true. I am scared of being hurt of letting go."
Dark "That’s what I love about you
Your heart is pure
Your desire is pure
Your submission is pure."
I keep resisting him. I dont know why. Because its real i guess. He never asks of sexual things from me. Never asks for any indecent images. He wants my mind and my heart. Nobody speaks to me like he does. Nobody gets me so well like he does. Nobody scares me like he does.
He accepts all of me. My flaws, my shyness, my kids, my bad jokes. I tell him that Stars shine brightest in the Dark. He smiles and says i will shine so brightly for him. I will be meeting my Dark after Christmas. It has been months in the making. And he has filled my mind today.
I thought for once i would share some good rather than deep and confused thoughts. I feel i have already made my decision. But i am waiting for my mind to analyze and accept it. To be a slave to the Darkness.
TO BE CONTINUED...........