2 years ago. March 23, 2022 at 9:16 PM
So I turned 25 this month.
My Immediate thought was "Oh God, I have to do this for like...50 more years"
So I turned 25 this month.
My Immediate thought was "Oh God, I have to do this for like...50 more years"
Few more songs from my playlist for those interested and as always, would love to hear suggestions from your own taste!
I haven't been around a while, mostly because nothing is really going on, For once...
So here some music I like and I'd love to hear some recommendations!
I haven't posted anything for a while.. so I suppose I should give an update.
I found a wonderful Miss to serve! Funny, very involved in conversations, personal and helps me make changes to be a better person!
Since I met this person, our involvement and conversations could be described as :
All in all, it was a wonderful experience.
She helped me try new things, Things I never I never thought I'd ever try... some things where a little frightening at first, others.. very Sexy~
But.. that didn't last.
I suppose you could summarize what happened next as:
And just like that, it was over in a flash. Like nothing happened, she was gone with a "I have to go", I never heard from her again. Left me with all this confusion.. how am I suppose to feel about that... she helped me try new things, better myself and become what I am now, then she was gone.. Threw me aside like I didn't even matter, like non of it mattered.
Did any of it matter I wonder?
Did she even care? I don't know anymore.
Was I just an idiot who saw things differently.. or maybe wasn't even there to begin with.. maybe..
Funny part is, I don't even know how to interpret the last thing she said. For context, we were buying some new kit, her idea of course. spent the whole day picking out things, was a lot of fun and before she went she said "Enjoy your toys".. was that genuine? Was it a snarky remark.. like a possible "Go fuck yourself?", perhaps maybe just an empty goodbye. I don't know.
Whatever, I'm tired of thinking about it. What's done is done, and the past should be passed and left alone.
And that, dear readers... is my update.
-Update-
(Finally spoke to her.. shared feelings and we parted on pleasantries, somber ending but a far better one)
Here's a random question, what's your favorite genre and or song.
Been on a sort of musical exploration, listening to new things and have found a few I quite like.
Though I'm still trying to expand my musical repertoire, so interested to see peoples diverse opinions!
Take a gander at a few songs I came across if you like :
It's been quite a while since I've written anything or even been active here, I've been preoccupied with getting (Successfully now) my majors degree!
But now that I'm back, I've been internally debating some things in my free time..
I've thought on this quite a bit and I'm vividly aware that it's a ridiculous thing to be wary of, but one of my biggest fears on this and other related platforms is that someone might recognize me in a public space.
Crazy I know, but this part of my life is very private, not many in my close circle know about it and I'm aware that if people recognize me, they'd also have to be on this platform. That's not to say that I'm wholly unwelcoming, If your a nice person then I'd probably invite you for a drink and some conversation.
It's just that, if someone who isn't particularly pleasant recognizes me.. then they'd already know far too much about my personal life.
That thought unnerves me a bit, but what freaks me out more..
Is if someone I know finds me on the platform..
Ridiculous thoughts, I know. Either way, good to be back! Hope your all doing well!
I spent a lot of time self reflecting.
Debating what I know, what I don't know, where I want to be, so on so forth.
I mulled it over for a few days.
Thinking back on what I've done so far, friends or acquaintances I met along the way, Mistakes I stumbled into.
The conclusion I drew from this, is I don't know anything, I don't know where I want to go and I don't even know what I want.
But that's fine, because what I do know, is that I'm at the start of this figurative race,
and there is a finish line.
Haven't had much to blog about recently, so here are a handful of varied songs I've been regularly listening to.
Who knows, might brighten or spark your morning like it does mine.
Feel free to recommend some music as well, I'm ever expanding my palette.
It's been a crazy past month, filled with problems, disasters and last minute solutions. During that time I barely slept, was on my feet constantly and was so physically and mentally exhausted that I just stopped caring altogether.
But now, finally things are calming down. I can sleep a reasonable number of hours, I don't have to do last minute jobs or have to worry about things going cataclysmically wrong. I can see what is expected of me and it's very much achievable.
Generally speaking,
Things are finally calm.
I don't understand you.
When we talk you engage quite well, but after many hours of conversation, very little was said.
You tip-toe through our chats like your walking on an imaginary tightrope that you strung for yourself.
When I stand my ground you backtrack and apologies but not with meaning and you twist your spoken words to make light of yourself.
I don't understand you.
You push and persist, even when I say it won't go anywhere but you bend my statements like I'm doing something wrong or just don't know any better.
I can't pull you out of the hole of your own ignorance or mistakes, especially when your still holding the shovel. I certainly will not be your stepping stone, left to wonder if I was too harsh or misunderstood.
I don't understand you and I don't want to.