Gauging

So .....

Have you ever had one of those bad days...whether it was at work or home and it drove you crazy? It was driving you to THAT place... You know...the days where you thread your fingers through your hair and pull, or you go to smoke only to realize you don't....or you decide to drink when you usually don't. Yeah! Those days! 

So you decide to tempt fate. Fate being your Master/ Dom/ Daddy. You do what you do best and mouth off. Everything and everybody has spent their day going off on you...so you brought your shit back to Daddy/Master/Dom. You arch your brow testing them .. yeah you feeling that lucky...or that stupid...choose your own adjective. I'm often lucky....cause I'm far from being blessed.

And you are ready until he gives you the wrong look, pulls out the wrong whip, lays down the wrong punishment. But your lucky ass is in too deep to beg your way out and your fate is sealed...and you accept your fate happily.

😜Thinking Craziness Out Loud😜

Sometimes...

I don't need perfections 

I don't need need random 

I don't need poised conversation

Sometimes...

I don't need to have to think and rethink 

Guard and unguard  

Sometimes....

 I just need you 

Your lust, your power, your strength 

Your joy, your pain, your trust 

You, all of you, 

The deep dark ugly 

The bright and beautiful shining 

The need and thoroughness of your control 

Your insatiable need for me to submit 

The helpless need in me to bend

to your dominating voice 

          ................. Let alone your touch

Right now, my life is suffocated in darkness 

And shredded in despair and 

In need of guiding

Sometimes

 I need you to be my light 

Just thinking painfully out loud 

~ In Search of Truth ~

Sometimes you feel like a nut 

Sometimes you don't 

Almond Joy has nuts.... Mounds don't 

.......... Because.........

Sometimes you feel like hard fucking 

Sometimes you don't! 😘🤩

Worse thing about me:

I don't let ppl in. If I'm hurting, I close off the whole damn world and deal with shit myself. My walls' walls have walls and my heart is on ice. 

Worse thing about my Dom:

He breaks every wall down and lay my shit bare in front of his eyes.

My walls' walls may have walls but he found the door and the key....and I'll be damned if he didn't let himself, grabbed some Cheetos and a beer, turned on MY TV, and propped HIS feet up on MY couch and waited for me to come home and offer me dinner in the midst of my walls of solitude.... Before fucking me till all those walls, doors, and solitude came crashing down.

Yeah.. That's some good good hard fucking 😜

Sometimes you feel like a nut 

Sometimes you don't 

Almond Joy has nuts.... Mounds don't 

.......... Because.........

Sometimes you feel like hard fucking 

Sometimes you don't! 😘🤩

Sometimes the best medicine is sexy fucking heels and thick cock down your throat.

I messed around and said to my Dom "who the fuck needs men when women have heels and batteries?". He showed me better than he could tell me why his cock is glorious and should be craved. 

Yeah.... There's nothing he can do with me. I'm unbreakable and untamable. Poor guy tries but I'm too much. I love the contentious ways and submission. 

🤔🤔🤔 Wonder if I bite how much trouble would I get in?

Signed,

Untamable 😘

None of this will make sense but when does life ever make sense 😉

YOLO 

You only live once! Life is unfair bit we are all stuck with it. 

My week is being a struggle. Mentally separating myself from Dom. It's unfair but has to be done. Wish I could just say it's because time is up but he doesn't realize it's deeper than that. I hate I fell for him. 

But telling him that I could die makes this unbearable. I look at my children eyes and try to picture what it will be like for them without me...& then all I want to do is fight something that has no cure and seeks to sadistically disengage every part of a human possible.  Spent 7 years winning...so I am bound to losing some fights. 

I can't tell my Dom this and shatter him. I'm not as worried about him breaking it off with me as I am of shattering his heart. Poor guy is clueless sometimes but I care deeply about him. It's not fair that I have to worry about everyone else but it's what I do. He already sense something is wrong and has started separating himself from me emotionally. He should. He's protecting his heart.

I want to cry in pity but can't feel sorry for myself. Gotta fight...even if I'm fighting alone. Gotta have a lot of fun along the way.. because if I don't survive, I will at least had alot of fun!

~~Roughed up babygirl