Ice Girl's public thoughts.

Sex can be anything intimate ❗

I used to have narrow view that sex is a variant on intercourse. That's what most people are told or learn. But I have been expanding my views.

The book the
Ethical Slut 3rd Edition there is this passage.

sex writers and educators, we’ve found that the more we learn about sex, the less we know about how to define it, so now we just say the truth as we know it: sex is part of everything.

Right now, we’re writing about sex, and you’re reading what we have to say about it. You’re having sex with us! Was it good for you? It sure has been for us.

More pragmatically, we have had long, intense intimate conversations that felt deeply sexual to us. And we have had intercourse that didn’t feel terribly sexual. Our best definition is that sex is whatever the people engaging in it think it is. For some people, spanking is sex. For others, wearing a garter belt and stockings is sex. If you and anybody else involved feel sexual when you eat ice cream sundaes together, that’s sex—for you.

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I feel it's important to have a healthy relationship with human sexuality and find empathy when we encounter ideas that might be counter to our own.

In this case I agree there can be more chemistry in a conversation than a physical encounter.

It is unavoidable to accept that what was prescribed for us is false and we need to be empowered in our agency to chart a path to our happiness.