I was looking at Alawey's heartfelt letter and was like wow this person writes very deep but not ever having a sibling or much family all I could do was offer my thoughts, this is why the blog is starting out this way.
However as I read on I disagree with the thought that I am not broken. Some people might believe that the only way to heal is to 100% bounce back and or "be themselves again" yet is that possible?
Take for a moment a person who goes blind can they drive again? No there eyesight is forever broken but that doesn't mean they can't adapt evolve and become something better for there current situation even if its an adaptation to being broken.
Ways that I have been broken:
My ability trust
My ability to hope
My ability to love myself
My ability to fall in love
My ability to not be jaded as sin
My ability to ask for help
My ability to see the world as anything but cruel
I am not broken with glee, but my scars on my flesh and memories that torment me nightly with such intensity at times I wake mid scream and freak my dog our or my roommates tells me this is who I am now and the foreseeable future.
I accept my reality, it became me not because of a want or whimsy it was a painful life that rooted through my brain contorting me into this current configuration.
I am ok with it. I'd rather admit me I'm damaged goods that someone has to take on as is with no or little expectations, then pretend to be complete in box and therefore lie wasting everybody's time.