I had to correct someone as intersex about trans and intersex being different this is what I explained...
Hello friend, I don’t know you personally and I think you may have some misunderstandings about me. I want to make this clear as you are well aware there are many intersex conditions and how those are expressed, how people and their families interact with said experiences, and what if any treatments are given, (without consent or requested) is different for all.
With such a range of experiences it isn’t uncommon for some intersex people to see themselves as trans or a cis heterosexual. Intersex is an umbrella term that covers so much and this reddit tries to make it comfortable for all who wanna have discussions and a safe space for intersex people, our allies and people curious.
I’m intersex I’m sick of feeling ashamed of my biology, here is the summary of my story. I have two conditions CAIS and Persistent Mullerian ducts. When I was born my family originally put me in foster care because they weren’t even sure they wanted me, for better or worse they did decide and opted to correct me as a male child which is almost unheard of in the case of my condition.
I didn’t know about my intersex condition growing up, but they would often tell me I was male on the outside but female on the inside but what I did know for sure is anytime I showed any interest at all in female toys, behaviors, or activities I would be abused.
To spare the details it was pretty grim while this was going on they were forcing me to see doctors and take treatments to try and masculinize me, the medication unable to do much of anything just would make me sick. I would beg and be afraid because it just was getting to be so much. During most of my schooling children would make fun of me for being so pale, sick, and weak which was a direct result of this treatment.
Finally I had enough, as I started growing breasts and not showing any signs of masculine development for puberty I demanded that I’m female and I didn’t care they needed to respect that.
Well there response was to send me to an all boys school and shave my head where I was sexually harassed daily for being FtM eventually this led to me being assaulted where males just apparently needed to see me naked.
The day my torment ended wasn’t because of my families love or understanding it was that I had developed a period despite the treatments and the doctors refused to give me male treatments with my protests.
My family so angry they neglected me, and tried to keep pleading with me they want what’s best from me being male on the outside female on the inside was a gift since the way women are treated will make my success impossible since so much is already stacked against me.
I didn’t care and the abuse continued so much so both my father and mother lost custody, and my mother fled the state due to her stabbing me. I didn’t care to pressure charges. By 16 I was a homeless independent minor and finally I had a say and that say was to correct the mistakes that were inflicted upon me.
I am not, nor was I ever trans. My body was meant to be female and my family tried to do unspeakable things to mold me into what they wanted for me, instead of letting my own agency take the point. Yet due to the abuse I am uncomfortable being female, I am ashamed of my body, I hate at how simply being a female, has cost me my entire family and the church I was brought up in. I want you to know I view gender as separate from sex I am gender fluid although I lean female because it is who I am.
I exist and my truth is just as valid as yours or anyone else’s. There’s a reason I say this is philosophical some would argue the fact my family tried to raise me as a male and I am now female I am trans. I say that’s horseshit because if it wasn’t for my condition I wouldn’t have pushed so hard because nothing was making sense from a physical sense I was deeply ill and had to have corrective operations done to fix what they did to me or else I could have died because periods.
LET ME BE CLEAR : I am not saying some intersex people don’t use or want trans as a label as a part of their process. I and many do not feel its valuable for us, I am a friend to trans people in fact I have argued that Trans people should have more self-determination if doctors will provide operations and hormones on intersex kids from birth, or in early childhood who don’t want it why not let someone convinced of who they are have fair access.
I am with you in the fact that Trans people and Intersex people have overlap but I disagree in terms of condition. For me the overlap comes down to the rights of body autonomy self-determination and the way some people stigmatize both communities for simply existing. There is a reason many intersex people don’t wanna talk about it or be open it is because they want relatively normal lives and seek approval from the medical establishment and heteronormative culture. I agree it might never be possible but I respect that is what they seek.
As for me I am a moderator here (on intersex reddit) , I volunteer as a board member of Oii America the largest intersex organization in the world, I have counseled many intersex and trans people, I currently work as an EMT on my way to medical school. I hopefully as a medical professional established can advocate for better treatment of trans and intersex peoples, AND FINALLY my personal desire I studied martial arts since I was 7 due to abuse and never wanting anyone to hurt me again.
I had a broken foot there was concerns about my bone density so my doctors did a bone density composition scan it came back perfectly normal bone structure and density for a female. When I got those results I cried and cried because for years I refused to compete in sports for fear the fact I am intersex would somehow be used against me. Sure anyone who knows anything about my condition would know I had no testosterone advantage shit I don’t even produce it never have as far as I know.
Then it hit me I could finally compete at the champion level I am in a Taekwondo studio that just came back from worlds winning 9 world cup medals in Slovenia. https://itftkd.sport/event/viii-taekwon-do-world-cup/
Since that moment of my bone scan I have been training on average 4-6 hours a day often until my hands are bleeding and I’m ready to puke. I robbed myself something I loved my whole entire life and I’m not gonna do it anymore. How can they ban me legally, medically, birth certificate its all Female and medically every test shows normal female and I haven’t had an ounce of testosterone in years which even if I had it would have no effect and now with this bone density scan what’s the objection that I have a Y chromosome that does nothing?
That I was raised as a male till 13 and somehow that privileged me. LETS FUCKING GO WORLD I’m tired of being afraid to see what I got vs the best of the best.
Nice to meet you now you know me the one and only!
