How stressful gender can feel.
There are days where I genuinely want to just cry endlessly to not be bothered for a moment.
I am Intersex was rasied as male had been given medications to try to masculinize me but they failed and found out during puberty I had internal female structures.
The issue is our society doesn't have a way to deal with that experience and even though I lived it I feel a part of me died and I am kinda never gonna fit in.
I never wanted to be female or male mostly I wanted to be left alone so many trips to the doctors medical interventions lies on why I was taking medicine -- constant sicknesses of my youth.
It's quite hard sometimes to accept I have a female body.
My life is so insane that one day I wouldn't mind waking to find out I was in a coma and this was all a bizarre dream.
Yet that's not in the cards I have been working on my acceptance of the situation.
The other day I had a moment where my body sorta got on my nerves and I was so angry with it yet my girlfriend was like eh calm down it's not a big deal.
She more then anyone has supported the fact I can not fixate on gender for half a second.
I used to look at life like to be endured as in an endless torture.
I am a fairly depressed person yet I have optimism that things will get better one day. Even if I never feel 100% comfortable in my body and my Intersex experience always makes me feel alone it's better to be then cease.
