On Feeling Erased 🥺
Havingan intersex condition gave me a unique experience.
When most people with a female phenotype (body) reach puberty there's often celebration for coming of age.
In my case since my family had tried to raise me male it was gaslighting taking me to all sorts of doctors and threats that if I don't have my breasts removed they will starve me since the only reason I have breasts is because I'm overweight.
If people wonder why even though I have a relatively cis female body I have trouble at times identifying as a woman the trauma is part of it.
My own mother just a couple of days ago called me her deformed son. Just ask yourself how often you have seen online XY equals male and XX equals female type arguments around the sexes.
I'm a male geneticly that has periods. I never wanted to transition or be anything other then what my body did yet due to my genetics the body is female this happens about one outta 90,000 or so genetic males.
So I can carry a child but people still call me a male to my face there are times I just want to maul someone.
I am so sick of explaining that there are many intersex variants and my experience is not unique.
For a long time I lived Life I didn't say a word about my condition because of the treatment I got when I did.
Yet if no one speaks out then how can misconceptions be removed.
I actually regret the amount of time I spent repeating the trash view that I am somehow defective. You know for the majority of my life I did repeate the lie I am a male with a rare birth defect.
I have over the last few years come to understand it differently.
I am a female who just had an unusual experience. Having a female body isn't a defect and I wouldn't ever say to any of my female friends you should be ashamed of your body for not being s mans.
It's outrageous the way many medical people and my family made me feel the majority of my life.
I am not cursed or punished I'm relatively healthy and am finally starting to feel better about life because my body isn't the problem it's the way people treat me and others who are unique in some way.
I write about these feelings because it was a long journey to get here and if others weren't so ill informed negative and abusive it could of happened much earlier.
I genuinely hope by this transparency people's minds our expanded to the human experience and future intersex individuals just have that muc easier of a road.
