Ice Girl's public thoughts.

A thank you to BPH -

Yesterday, I stopped by to support my girlfriend while she had run into the club for a second.

The amount of you who took the time to wish me well before I go off to medical school really touched my heart.

I only have one biological relative I am even on talking terms with so it means a lot to give me positive feedback.

Being an orphan to a bio mom and dad with drug problems that lost custody I definitely have insecurities around feeling worthless and having no "family."

For all of you who see me as family, or at least a cool queer friend/acquaintance thank you.

Having people wishing me the absolute best truly warms my heart.

I am coming to terms that I might only get to be on an ambulance 3 more times as a provider. I have saved many people and helped countless. While in the last year getting FTO status I got the opportunity to train dozens of people to get there license ? and become EMTs.

Today I got to drive advanced life service critical care! ( Might be the last time I get to drive lights and sirens ?)

I am fairly certain I am going to specialize in emergency medicine at least initially. I can't give up the adrenaline rush and hopefully as someone calling shots in an ER or critical care I can continue making an impact and saving people.

I genuinely couldn't do it without all of you.

Everyone has contradictions and as much pride I have in my intellect and accomplishments I often feel worthless infact I try so hard to fill the void of needed affirmation.

When you all have congratulated me in person and I said will see when I get though. It wasn't me trying to be a jerk I just feel in many ways until I pass med school and get my doctorate the work is not done.

What's funny is even once I am done I will still be mad at myself for not being better.

My sign language is rusty, I really should learn Spanish so I can better serve the next largest segment of our population better. #longtermgoals

I have a mantra I heard once and live by - Good Better Best, Never let it Rest, Till Your Good is Better, and Your Better is Best!

I want to be the best at anything I do and I thank you for being part of why I enjoy being alive since in my eyes I suck.

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