A Journal

A warm hello to all members of The Cage.  Not sure if I'm remembered, but I was here about a year ago.  I missed you all, so I came back.  Hoping to reconnect 

I'm surprised none of you woman chose thus song!  One woman I would love to be dominated by!  

Back in the day the Phillies had a closer named Mitch William's.  He threw really hard, but his control was lacking at times...well a lot!  Batters were afraid to face him for fear of getting hit!  When he would come in from the bullpen,  they would play this song!  BTW:  this was a song I bought on a 45 rpm record when I was young!  Lol

This goes along with DevotedSub's blog on Giving:

Let me give you one of the ingredients for sabotaging your relationships. I’m talking about ANY relationship, whether it be with your girlfriend, boyfriend, friends, husband, wife, children, parents, co-workers, acquaintances, and all your virtual social media “friends.”

The great relationship sabotager I’m speaking about is called OUTCOME DEPENDENCE.

What is outcome dependence?

Outcome dependence is doing something for someone else in order to achieve a certain outcome.

Example:

Your friend is hiring and you apply for the job. He doesn't select you, so you become angry and resentful toward your friend.

You’ve just sabotaged your relationship with your friend.

Why? Because you were outcome dependent. You had strings attached to your job application. You put an expectation on your friend. When it wasn’t met, you turned hot toward him. Bellicose. Pugnacious. Obnoxious.

Another example:

You buy a gift for your boyfriend or husband. He doesn't react the way you want. Now you’re upset with him.

You’ve just thrown a wrench into your relationship.

Why? Because you were outcome dependent. You didn’t give him a gift out of unconditional love. You gave it to achieve a certain reaction.

Another example:

You write to an author expressing appreciation for her book. She never replies to you or you think her reply is too short. It doesn’t meet your expectations. Horns arise out of your head and you're furious with her.

You’ve just broken a bridge with that author.

Why? Because you were outcome dependent. You didn’t express your appreciation unconditionally. It didn’t come from a right motive. You were expecting some sort of validation from it.

Hell hath no fury like the outcome dependent when their expectations aren’t met.

Outcome dependence reveals neediness and selfishness. It's the opposite of unconditional love.

Outcome dependence is a form of manipulation. You do something for someone else in order to engineer a specific outcome that YOU want.

A needy, self-absorbed person who is not complete within themselves, but needs another person to validate them, will always be outcome dependent.

And outcome dependence pushes people away due to self-seeking pressure.

To love without condition is to be OUTCOME INDEPENDENT. And that’s what life in the kingdom of God looks like.

You give, you serve, you ask, you apply, etc. without any expectations. Without any conditions. Without any attachments to or expectations of the outcome.

You put no pressure on other people to do anything!

If you do something kind for someone else, you don't look over your shoulder to see if it’s “working.”

You do it unto God's glory and out of Christ-fueled love. A love that never demands, expects, or puts pressure on others. That’s the goal.

“Do things for others because of the man/woman you are, not to win brownie points. Whenever you do something to achieve a reaction, you’re being outcome dependent, which means you’re seeking validation and acknowledgement. It’s a sign of neediness.”

Have your kinky plans resulted in the outcome in this song?

Ephesians 5:22-33
 
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband

Hi family!

I just finished reading a book.  Strong in the Day of Battle by T. Austin-Sparks.  It's a Christian book, but it has applications I believe for everyone.

In one of the chapters it's talk about settling before the victory is complete.  In the book Israel was told to rid the land of their enemies.  They did most if it, but grew complacent and settled at driving out most, but not all of the enemy.  They settled.  Because of this these enemies continued to be a thorn in their side throughout history...even into the present. 

It got me thinking...where have I settled? Where have I become complacent and lazy and felt something was good enough instead of completing the victory?

Oh I could tell you years of stories where I did this....but, since there is a theme of change in many of the blogs today, I decided to focus on that.  Now,  you are all going to have to do your own personal evaluation to really get anything out of this, but I have one personal issue to share.

My issue involved personal growth. We all have areas where we desire more growth.  A better Dom.  A better sub.  A better friend. And so on.  My area was Christian (spiritual) growth.  Ever since becoming a Christian I gave been hungry to know more.  I would devour the Bible,  books and listen to christian teachers.   I was growing.  Then one day I looked around and saw that I was better than most Christians in this area.  So...i settled.  I stopped doing so much reading.  I just went with the flow.   Why should I learn more?  No one understands what im talking about now.  

I went through the motions.  I was no longer hungry.  I had settled.

As a result I started to spiritually atrophy.   Relationships began to suffer.  I started to give in to desires I hadn't had in a long time.  The enemy that was a thorn in my side started to take back areas where I had defeated him.  I found myself in bondage again.  So, recently, God woke me up and with His help...and the help from all of you I picked myself up and started reading again.  And what was the first book on the pile for me to read?  You guessed it...Strong in the Day of Battle!  While reading I saw the areas that I had let slip.  I saw why and how I was being defeated.  It was just what I needed to read.  Hmmmm...could it have been God?

So, all of that to say this.   In whatever area or areas you are trying to grow or change, dont settle!  Press on until the victory is won!  Don't settle for good when you can have the best!  Take that extra course in school.  Hug your loved one a few extra times.  Love unconditionally more often.  Don't hear that piece of pie.   I think you all get it!  Continue to grow!  Be the best you can be!  Don't settle!

If you feel like it.  All books by T. Austin-Sparks are free online at www.Austin-sparks.net.   If you want to grow in your faith and understanding I highly recommend these teachings.   They are nothing like you have heard in church!  It is REAL Christianity!

I love you all!

As my Mistress continued to train me and teach me the BDSM lifestyle, I became awakened to the fact that i have always been a sub.  Electricity shot through my whole being as the truth of who i truly am washed over me in waves of pure joy and excitement!  I have found my purpose.  My life now has meaning!

A hunger gripped me to learn and understand.  I wanted to know all there was to know in an instant.  I could not get enough information.  It all became clearer.   I AM a sub!  It is not what I have chosen to be, it is my nature!  It is who I am!  As I sat quietly my head spinning with thoughts, I began to weep.  I have finally found what I have been looking for!

Then fear!  What should I do?  I want to please my Mistress.  I am her slave.   But...is She for real?  Does she have my best interests in her heart?  Will I be hurt?  What do I do?  Questions...no answers!  I was floating in a sea of doubt.

My Mistress came to me.  The look in her eyes showed me all I needed to know.  I was truly cared for.  I submit to you my Mistress!  I give You the respect, honor,  trust you deserve.   I am Yours!

I realized that this was my first lesson.  There will be many more.  I can rest knowing that I am in Her hands.  I am cared for.  Finally, I am free!

Slavebilly