Beautifully Broken

Curled up on the lounge, a fire burning
Wearing only a heather gray thong, an oversized chenille sweater and knee high socks
Staring out the window, watching the leaves from the apple tree twirl and somersault as the rain pitter-patters on the roof
i should be writing, i've been exceptionally quiet lately, which is normal for me as the days grow darker, but You want to know why the chaos has turned tranquil
i've meekly scribbled a few lines, trying to portray the tranquility, but my thoughts are like herding cats

Completely oblivious to the room around me, lost in the rabbit hole that is my mind
You approach the lounge, snake Your fingers through my hair at the base of my skull and pull, disconcerting me, my body tensing
Before i can manage a scream, Your lips come crashing down on mine
In a twinkling, i am allayed and melt under Your touch
A calmness washes over me, my thoughts in vivid technicolor of why the chaos is quelled as Your body envelops mine

Your hands burn like fire as they make their way up my torso, taking the chenille sweater with them
Your lips breaking from mine just long enough to slip the sweater over my head, tossing it to the floor as You passionately kiss me
Staunchly pressing Your body to mine, biting my lip and trailing kisses down my neck, finding that sweet spot, You begin to devour, nipping, licking, sucking, causing my body to writhe beneath You, finally marking me with Your teeth, my body arching against Yours, a whimper escapes my lips, begging for more

You sit up, admiring my mostly naked body, lust in Your eyes Your fingers leisurely and tenderly caress my side, making me twitch and moan, reaching my pert nipple, You roll and pinch it with Your thumb and finger, slightly tugging on it, Your other hand firmly massaging my other breast
You lean over and cascade kisses over my ribs, Your hands still fondling my breasts, Your teasing is torturous, but oh how i long for more, to feel Your lips on every inch of my body, making me moan and whimper
Your hand slides up to my throat, squeezing it as Your tongue finds my nipple, slowly circling and flicking it
Repeating the same on the other nipple, leaving little love bites as You go back and forth, muffled moans escape my lips, a coy smile on my face as i feel You clasp my neck tighter
The strength in Your hand is all it takes to ground me to You, to remind me that i am Yours

i can feel my juices trickling down my thigh as You begin to smack my breasts
Still squeezing my throat, making it difficult for the gasps and moans to escape
my greedy pussy aching to be filled with Your cock, growing hungrier with each slap and the sting left behind
Your mouth returns to my breasts, Your lips caressing the welts, my body squirming to feel more of You, my fingers digging into Your back to keep You close
Your hand slides from my throat up to my lips, Your finger softly tracing my lips as they slowly part, my tongue extends to greet your index finger as i gradually take it in my mouth and begin to suck and moan

The hunger growing in Your eyes, You hissingly ask "would you like something else in your mouth?", with Your finger still in my mouth, all i can manage is "mmmmmm"
Your finger pops from my lips as You snake Your hand to the back of my head, grabbing a fist full of hair, You pull, standing me up as You rise from the lounge
Gripping tighter, You push me to my knees
Kneeling before You, i begin to unbutton Your pants, slowly sliding the zipper down, Your cock already erect
my hands move up to Your hips as i slide Your jeans down to Your ankles, You step out of them, i remove your socks and begin to stroke Your cock through Your boxers
You growl at my teasing, briefly releasing my hair, You take off your shirt
i ease my fingers into the waistband of Your boxers, leisurely freeing Your cock, the head already glistening with pre-cum
As i slide Your boxers to Your ankles, i lean forward and lick Your cock from the base to the tip, causing You to hiss
You grab a handful of my hair, jerking my head back, causing me to whimper
i try to lean forward to take Your cock in my mouth, Your grip on my hair pulling back harder

A slap across my cheek, releasing a gasp, my body jolting in shock, quickly reminds me of my place
You loosen Your grip on my hair, pushing my face to Your cock
i cup Your balls with one hand, with the other, i wrap my fingers around Your hard cock and gently squeeze before beginning to stroke it
Bringing it to my mouth, i twirl my tongue around the tip
Massaging Your balls as i glide Your cock down my throat
A growly "fuck" escapes Your mouth as my lips reach the base of Your cock
Moving my mouth up and down, swirling and flicking my tongue, sucking harder, faster, then slower, softer
Your moans and groans growing louder
Feeling Your cock twitch in my mouth, knowing You are close
i suck harder and faster, Your fingers tense in my hair, holding my head in place
You growl "do you want Me to cum in your mouth?"
Unable to speak with Your cock filling my mouth, i shake my head no, surprised at my answer as i always say yes and suck You dry
"you want Me to fill your greedy tight pussy?" You hiss
Shaking my head yes, You yank my mouth from Your cock
Draging me to the end of the lounge and bending me over it, pushing my chest and face down on the cushions, my toes barely touching the floor
You rip the thong from my body, spreading my legs as far as they will go with Your knees

The sting of Your hand in quick succession has me moaning in ecstasy, needing to feel You inside me
Your hands caress my candy apple red ass before sinking Your teeth into one cheek, marking me as Yours, damn near sending me over the edge
my whimpers begging You to fill me with Your cock
Your fingers sink into my hips as You thrust into me and don't move, letting me feel every inch of Your cock
A low "fuck" leaves my lips as You begin to thrust faster and harder, Your fingers digging deeper into my hips
Both moaning, pounding my tight pussy as fast and as hard as You can, i feel Your cock tense
One final thrust and Your warmth fills me as i fall into the oblivion that only You can take me to
You collapse on top of me briefly, nuzzling my neck and kissing my cheek

You quickly stand, grabbing me by the hand, snatching the blanket from the lounge, You lead me to the fireplace
You sit down and pull me into Your lap, wrapping the blanket around us
With my head on Your chest, listening to the beat of Your heart, grounding me even further to You, You ask me if i had written an explanation in my journal, i shake my head no, my voice unsteady trying to explain

You are like the wind that takes the leaves from the apple tree, Your every touch taking the broken, the parts no longer needed, sending them into the abyss
Your hands, Your lips, You are the reason why my chaos is tamed

Whispered breaths on my neck
Whispered words in my ear
Whispered fingertips down my spine
Whispered kisses across my ribs
Whispered nibbles along my inner thigh
A whispered tongue up my slit

Gentle, meticulous, torturous

Goosebumps cascade down my body
An air of expectancy washing over me
Your whispers so perfect
Concupiscence consuming me
My body arching to meet your touch
An ache deep in my core swells, my wetness grows

Purrs, moans, pants

Whispers are what meld me to you
Embodying me to willfully obey
Forging a deep primal desire
Yearning to feel the bite of your teeth, the sting of your hand, the grip of your fingers
Whispers are what make me yours

This shit show of a year has taught me so much, brought so much pain and sorrow, and given me a few fleeting moments of happiness

People are cowards and hypocrites, including myself
This was a hard pill to swallow and many tears were shed, but it is my truth
After more than a decade with a narcissist, things become terribly skewed, who you once were is nothing more than a faint memory, there is no one fighting for you and you would rather hide than face the dark truth

People are selfish and short sighted
Wanting instant gratification without thought of recourse
Not caring how their words and actions may deeply impact another
This was another painful realization, becoming an act of self preservation
Taking me further away from my true self

Honesty is rare
We hide our intentions in smooth words and half truths
It's somehow become taboo to say we want nothing more than a good fuck from time to time
There are always those fucking words that give hope
And once the dick has gotten wet, the cunt sorely stretched
People walk away because there is no way to maintain the illusion, words can only be smooth for so long

True happiness is even more rare
Afraid to let our guard down
Playing the game of being what is wanted for fear of rejection
Rejection because we've grown accustomed to discarding things as trash when they aren't perfect
So we suffocate our wonderfully beautiful selves to make someone else happy

Tomorrow isn't promised, hell the next hour isn't even a guarantee
But we continue to live as though there will be one more day
One more day to say and do the things we need to
The reality is that there isn't
Death may come, they may get tired of the bullshit and walk away, tired of constantly seeking approval, validation that they are worthy, wondering what they did wrong and finally choose to love themselves more

Perfect doesn't exist, there is no grand masterpiece of everything we've ever dreamed of wanting waiting for us
There is only potential
The potential of what truly could be if all involved really want it, but it takes work
And so few are willing to work that hard

Change is scary as fuck, but it is so necessary
Even if it means diving straight in only to be greeted with pain and sorrow
Change shows us what we can truly handle, what we are really made of, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel if we look hard enough
These moments of change bring us the real truth of what our lives are to be if we could only get past the fantasy of what we thought our lives would be

Fairytales don't exist
There is no knight in shining armor to save the day
There is no perfect house with a white picket fence
There is no prince charming wooing the unsuspecting maiden

Life is messy, it's ugly, it's cold and lonely, it's nights spent crying into a pillow, days spent walking as a ghost of what once was
Life is also beautiful, warm and full of love and happiness
In those small moments when the chaos quiets and the mind becomes still
Letting us just be, in the present, taking victory in that small sliver of time

I will continue to falter and fall as I make my way back to my true self
Shedding all cowardice, hypocrisy, and selfishness
Learning to be honest and clear with my intentions
Seeking happiness by my own hands instead of at the hands of others
Living in the present, finding joy in the connections made with others despite how short lived they may be
I will continue to love deeply and freely even if it's not returned
I will love to heal the darkest wounds of my past and continue to have hope, to see the potential that people hold

Learning to be patient, letting go of expectations, savoring that moment as that is all that is promised
Stopping the unrealistic fantasy and having faith that love will find a way when it's meant to be

For many this is a year that we'd just as soon as forget, I definitely have my moments where I wished things had gone differently, but I wouldn't change how this year has progressed
I've gotten to see the glimmer of the woman hiding deep within, a woman who is worth letting out
As the new year begins, I will continue to fight for her because I am the only one who can

I am thankful for the paths of those I crossed that have been a blessing and continued to grow despite me being a continuous hot mess and taking more than I give
Know that I truly and deeply appreciate you
I am thankful for the paths of those I have crossed that have been a lesson and maybe one of these I won't have to keep learning the lesson
But until then, I'll continue to work on being my true self

Silently stalking, creeping, watching from a far
Keeping Yourself hidden
Drawing in my beauty, every curve, every detail
Envisaging my ocean blue eyes staring up at You as my soft lips are around Your cock
Silently stalking, creeping closer, watching from a far
Becoming intoxicated by my scent
Craving my taste, hoping it will quench Your insatiable thirst
Needing to sink Your teeth into my flesh to ease the ache deep within
Silently stalking, creeping ever closer, close enough to pounce
A burning want to hear what soft moans may come as You entangle Your fingers in my hair and pull
The twitch in Your hand longing to make me squeal as it makes contact with my flesh
Will i scream Your name or release a primal growl as You finally claim me
Silently stalking, creeping ever closer still, close enough to touch
Calculating Your every move, every moment, every breath
Keeping me unaware of You, Your raw, untamed presence
Knowing You have one chance to lunge, to have me in Your grips
Silently stalking, creeping, swooping from the shadowy dark
A deep growl emits from Your throat as Your fingers sink into my flesh, Your body colliding with mine
Your hunger becoming unbearable, my arousal weakening every deep, dark primal impulse
Sinking Your teeth into my neck, releasing a breathy moan from me
Diving in, barreling, claiming
Pushing me with brute force against a tree, spreading my legs with Your knee
Trailing Your tongue down my spine, sinking Your teeth into my beauteous ass
Sinking lower, Your tongue reaching that sweet spot You have been craving, even sweeter than You imagined
Diving harder, barreling faster, claiming victoriosly
Groans, growls, moans mixing with the night air, unable to decipher who the sounds belong to
Pure primal lust being unleashed, needing to mark and claim
Clawing, biting, griping, pulling as You sink Your cock deep within me, finally claiming Your prize
A deep roar creeps slowly from Your chest as i scream Your name
Siletly stalking, creeping, watching from a far, lunging, swooping in, diving, barreling, claiming

A need to expatiate
Compassion and understanding blended with great verve
A vivacious and bohemian presence
A most enticing and enchanting muse
Curvaceous with soft and dewy skin
Quintessential sea of change
The alpha and omega, yin and yang, equally loveable and despicable
Beatific, worldly, mysterious
Devotion, euphoria, eroticism
Blissful oblivion of intense feelings unleashed through sexual absolution
A devine symbosis, a harmonious servitude

These are my gifts to you, wrapped in decievingly demure box

You ask what my limits are, my boundaries...they are perpetual within the confines of Your hands...

Place me within walls, i wilt and die...

Place me in a cage, i forget how to soar...

Place me in a box, i gasp for air...

i desire to grow and blossom freely by Your hand...

To feel as though i might break, only to reach euphoria

To transform to what i was i was always fated to be...

you are my rock, my haven, my credence...

Within Your hands they are perpetual...

My Master sits in His chair sipping His whiskey with me knelt between His legs, my head resting on His thigh

This is my favorite place to be, the connection it creates as He tenderly caresses my head grounds me to Him

In these moments, i see the pain in His eyes, the burdens He carries and i so desperately long to take them from Him

i listen to His heartbeat as He tries to steady it, knowing that once it becomes a constant thump...thump...thump...my body must be ready to perform for her Master

my body on fire with the desire to please Him, to be all that He needs, to hear Him whisper "That's My good girl".

He gently lifts my head from His thigh, entangling His fingers in my hair, yanking my head back causing my back to arch, bringing my full breasts closer to Him

With His free hand He cups my breast and rolls my nipple between His thumb and finger, His touch unlike anything i've known, i let out a soft moan

In this moment His powerful lips meet mine, His forceful tongue intertwining with mine, clamining me, our mouths meld as one

He bites my lip as He pulls away, i whimper at the loss of His tongue, yearning for more, a sly smile crosses His face, He revels in the turmoil He causes my body, His body

He tightens the grip on my hair as He stands before me, commanding me to undo his pants, my heart racing, fingers trembling, i do as commanded

His sumptuous cock ready and waiting, He commands me to suck Him, slowly i bring my velvety lips to His cock, swirling my tongue as i go deeper and deeper, savoring the luxurious meal that He is, He lets out a hiss, commanding me to suck harder, faster

Tears streaming down my face as He takes control, fucking my face with vigor, claiming me yet again

On the verge of release, His cock slips from my mouth with a "pop", desperately trying to catch my breath

He grabs His belt from His pants and commands me to bend over the chair, resting my face on the seat

A beautiful blank canvas waiting to be transformed, He begins to caress my soft flesh, trailing His fingertips down my spine

He leans over me, i can feel his cock pressing firmly on my ass, he nuzzles my neck, a growly "fuck" escapes his lips just as He bites down on my neck, marking me as His

Moaning, needing more, squirming beneath his weight, He bites harder, bringing a hand to my throat

Panting for air, i try to still myself and suddenly the weight of Him is gone, leaving me cold and exposed

i hear the belt crack as he folds it and stretches in His hands, that sound sends a thousand sensations through my body

He draws back and releases the first lash across my pale ass, my body tightens from the sting, a breathy "fuck" escapes my lips

Just as i relax, He releases another lash and another, they come in quick succession, never in the same spot twice

i can feel my juices running down my thigh, needing release that only He can give me, but i know that will only happen once i have earned it

Willing my body to continue to perform for Him, wanting Him to be pleased so release may come soon

He drops the belt and stands back to admire his canvas, which is now vibrant shades of red, from ass to thighs

"Fuck, you are beautiful", He whispers as He stands behind me and spreads my legs open wider

His fingers slide between my legs, he circles just around my clit, causing begging moans to erupt from me, His hand around my throat once more, "shhhh", He whispers

His fingers dip inside me before He trails my wetness to my puckered hole, slowing circling, warning me of what's to come

His hand still on my throat, i feel His other grasp my hip and dig His fingers in, squeezing my throat tighter, He thrusts into my ass

Releasing His grip on my neck, He stills his body as He presses His weight on me, enveloping me in warmth, allowing my tight hole to relax

He cascades soft kisses down my neck and shoulder, drifting me off into oblivion as He begins to thrust His cock faster and faster

On the verge of falling, i beg my body to not betray me, to continue to perform as He needs me to

A deep growl fills the room, sending me closer to the edge, He slides a hand down my stomach, continuing to thrust harder as He teases my nub

"Master", i beg as He rubs my nub harder and faster, i can feel Him tense as He releases His warmth and my release is finally granted, sending me to a place only He can

He breifly slumps on my beautifully marked body before removing Himself from my tight hole

He gently cradles me in His arms, i nuzzle my face into His chest as He carries me off to His bed

He tenderly lays me on the bed, my head on His chest, He caresses His beautiful marks as He whispers "That's My good girl, you performed well".

I wake with a smile on my face, replaying His words, sliding my hand to my ass so i can feel His marks, but they aren't there, looking around, i realize i am in my own bed, letting out a sigh of disappointment

Such a sweet and naughty dream for a Master who has yet to be found

She is nature's canvas
She is that which is beautiful and postive
Etheral, with an unusual delicacy
She is that of a Princess gliding in flight
She is the seductive light
An Omen, with her dark wings, yellow spirit and white heart
Her fragile nature, of which is intriguing
With her many markings, she can hide
She is a Watcher, a symbol of Protection
She is a Voice, for those who cannot yet express
The Guardian of Eternity
She is the Knowledge that is Dangerous
Yet, she will spread so you may cross over
The Temptress, the Seducer
A very sensual kiss she will give
Flitting from one Flower to the next
Never resting in her quest
She is that of a Rainbow
She is the Bringer of all that is Good and Bad
Her soft and pretty moves will leave you mesmerized
She is that of Divine Inspiration
Unsure, Fearful, Nervous
Fickle and Inconsistent in her Flight
She is all that is Shy
She is the Flame in which we are all attracted to
Her metamorphosis is awe inspiring
She is all that has Potential
She will provoke laughter from those who seek her
An Expression of simpler things
She is that which can Heal
She is nature's canvas

i step into Your luxurious shower
Allowing the hot water to fill the room with a sensual fog
i become lost in my thoughts as i begin caressing my breasts, oh how they are missing Your touch
Slowly my hand trails down my stomach, longing to feel You against me
i hear You enter, strip and lean against the counter, silently watching me through the glass door
i see your dick twitch as my hand slides between my legs
i let out a soft moan, hoping that You will join me
You continue watching me, eyes growing dark
i finishing showering, my whole body trembling with antipation of what is to come
i reach for a towel and notice that You are holding it
i step towards You as You drop the towel and lunge for me
A low growl erupts from You as You spin me and pin me to the wall
You have my arms above my head, Your dick pressed firmly on my ass, Your hot breath on my neck
i can feel the wetness increasing between my legs
You yank me from the wall and force me to the floor
my belly pressing into the cold tiles
i feel all of Your weight on me, Your dick pressing against my tight hole
i let out a cry, begging You to slow down or at least use some lube
You only whisper shhhhhh, followed by a deep growl
In this moment, i know that this is all for Your pleasure, not mine
i try to relax under Your weight, but i'm not able to
i begin to panic and struggle at the pain that i know is to come
i feel Your grip tighten around my wrists that You have pinned to my back
You lower Your mouth to my neck and the moment Your teeth sink into me, You thrust Yourself inside me hard
i let out a scream, which only causes You to bite harder
Suckling as You begin thrusting faster, going deeper and deeper
my body finally caves to the sensations racing through it and i slump beneath You with the resignation that i am Your fucktoy

The symphony sits on a shelf collecting dust
The parchment yellowing with time
The first movement showing the most wear
Always being performed with vigor and ease
Allegro is enticing, few can say no
The second movement sits, barely touched
A few lingering prints, reminders of those who tried and malfunctioned
Lyrical in nature, an exploration of crescendos and decresndos
The third movement in pristine condition
Waiting for the perfect performer for it to come alive
Minuet, where bodies, souls, hearts all become one
The fourth movement, just as pristine as the third
Never heard in its perfect beauty
Allegro, passion holding strong till the end
Waiting for the instrument to complete the orchestra and bring the symphony to vibrant life