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My journey is a road I travel most of the time with friends by my side. Some days I walk alone, others I hold someone's hand. This is my journey on cage. If you really want to know about me go back 2 years ago to my first blog. Enjoy
15 hours ago. Mon 27 Jan 2020 08:56:34 AM IST

Yesterday I heard her cries hunting for dinner. We have a hawk who hunts in our mountain a lot. While she was searching I was watching and this came to me.  I guess the reason I am posting it here is it can relate to some people I've seen and how they play with others.  Shoot it can probably even relate to me. 

Happy blogging cagers

 

Soaring high you hear her scream

Searching for her next meal

Riding the wind tunnels

She keeps a watchful eye

Zeroing in she sees it

The tiny mouse moving along

Searching for his own nourishment

Scrounging for something in this cold winter

He moves along digging minding his own

She starts her decent

Drifting slowly down

Wings tucked in a little

Careful not to alert him

One last swirl in the tunnel

She pulls her wings in

Talons stretched out

She swoops and grabs him

Clutching him in her claws

He doesnt make a sound

She tries to squeeze him

He still isnt affected 

She shoots up high

Letting go, he falls to the earth

Crashing hard against the ground

He lays still after hitting hard

The air knocked out of his small frame

She glides in to land

Moving close to him

He looks at her and sighs

"You see what instantly satisfies you."

He says slowly rising to his feet

"You go in for the kill, 

when it doesn't bend to your will you drop it."

She starts to argue

His small voice over powers her

"You play with us

Taking what you need

Letting us suffer

For your own pleasure,

You dont see the beauty

The strength in others

You focus on their weakness

To hurt them and make them feel less."

Walking towards her he rises

Standing as tall as he can

"Your afraid!

You fear anything that isnt you,

you break it down

rip it apart and move on to the next.

Kill me if your hungry

I offer myself,

keep me if you need a friend

I will give myself to you

if you can honestly say you need me to survive.

If not fly back up high and let me be."

She cocked her head and spread her wings

Flying back up to the sky

She watched him move along

Thinking to herself about what he said

"I dont play games, I need them to live

I'm not afraid I know my place

I am a hawk I am better than most."

Looking around the sky

She watched the other birds

Flying away from her

She looked down

The little creatures

Running from her shadow

She understood then

She was hated because of her actions

She was alone becasue of her choices

Hanging her head tucking in her wings

The powerful hawk fell out of the sky.

Landing as the tiny mouse had

Her body crushed against the imapct.

Blinking her eyes she saw him

He came to her and sat by her face

"You need a friend I wont run,

you won't have to do this alone."

She asked "why"

He smiled and said "because now you need me,

you had to fall from grace to understand."

That night the hawk left this world,

With the mouse by her side

Just as he promised not alone.

 

 

4 days ago. Thu 23 Jan 2020 06:04:57 AM IST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The warm sand between her toes

A calming feeling

The mist sizzling and hissing sinking into the ground

Eyes closed she takes it in.

The smell of the sea and sand

The sound of the beating waves

The warmth on her skin from the sun

The taste of salt on her lips

Rhythmic sounds from the great force

Reaching her soul

She can feel the heart beat of the earth

Opening her eyes

The waves call to her

Standing she walks to them

They touch her feet

Tickling her skin

She moves further out

The waves continue their dance

Touching more of her body

She feels their power

They pull the sand beneath her feet

Letting her know shes not on solid ground

The water draws back

Pulling her with it

She moves with the waves

Walking out to sea

Shoulder deep the waves keep rolling

The tide pulls her under

The waves continue their dance

Lost in the barrel her body fights

Struggling to find the air it needs

He mind tells her body shhhhh

Her body quiets

Gives into the power

Rolling in the waves

Floating in its power

Tossing and turning

As the ocean sees fit

The darkness clouds her mind

The ocean crashes around her

Holding her in its grasp

Her mind accepts this is it her fate

The ocean let's out one final roar

Tossing her on the shore

Tears in her eyes

She gasps for air

Coughing the taste of salt in her mouth

Laying on the sand

Staring at the waves

The sun dips past the horizon

She understands it wasnt her time

The ocean continues its sirens song

The tears fall from her eyes

Her mind giving her release

Letting her body mourn the loss

Of things she cant control

 

 

 

5 days ago. Wed 22 Jan 2020 06:12:28 PM IST

I wrote this a few weeks back at someone's request. I never shared it so here you go....


Today I didnt realize how much of a brat I was being. I kept telling my Daddy no. It started out as playful banter but then I became frustrated and stopped talking. All he wanted was my honesty and I couldnt controll my sarcasm. The hours count down till it's time to go home and my anxiety builds up. I know I need to get home to make sure he knows I'm ok. I didnt answer his texts for hours. When i told him I was on my way home all I got was an okay. No be safe baby girl, no see you soon kitten, just an okay. Yep I'm in trouble.

 

I drive and traffic is horrible. A drive that should take me 30 minutes has already taken me an hour and half. I normally get home before Sir but tonight that's not going to happen. Dinner should be made when he walks in the door, I should be waiting for him in my spot by the couch when he walks in. I shouldn't be walking in after him. I text him and tell him that traffic is horrible and I'm sorry I'm late. Again his response let's me know I'm in serious trouble. He tells me to stop texting while I drive, that I know how he feels about that. I reply yes Sir, and immediately realize my mistake.


Shit shit shit I think. Why the hell did I respond back right after he told me to stop. God why cant I get my head on straight today. I dont like upsetting Daddy and I know when I get home Daddy will definalty have his Master hat on. When I'm like this only Master can recenter me. I get closer to the house and I start to drive slower. I prep myself knowing what I need to do. I need to walk into the house and not utter a word. This is going to be hard as my mouth seems to have a mind of it's own today.


I pull into the driveway, take a deep breath get out and walk to the door. I know Master dislikes when I come home in my scrubs and normally I change in the bathroom right by the door. I stand outside the door and look around theres no one outside but anyone looking out can see me. I hang my head and pull my scrub pants off. I fold them and set them on the little table by the door. The one that's been placed there for days like this. I've only had to use it once. I them kick off my shoes and place them next to the table bend over to put them by the table and blush as I remember Daddy said no panties today.

I hear a door open and stand straight up. Our neighbor has come out he must be loving the show.
I know Master heard me pull up and is timing this I have no choice. I'm almost out of time. I pull my scrub top off fold it and place it on the table then I take off my bra . Trying save myself embarrassment i look at the old man and say i had a patient get sick all over me....and open the door.


I walk in and see my cushion by the door. I sigh and totally get how bad i fucked up today. My cushion being there means I'm to kneel and wait. He put the cushion there because even angry my Master is a loving Master he knows how bad my knees are and doesnt want to hurt me. I kneel facing the wall knowing that I have upset Master and I am not to see what he is doing. I reach up and take my hair out of the tie it's been in all day. I know how I should look hair down is how he likes it. I hear him moving in the house behind me i sit straight up place my hands behind back and I wait.


I hear him walk out of the kitchen and I listen to him trying to catch his breathing. Hes so quiet. I know hes not letting me hear him breathe. His footsteps go to the table where I hear him place 2 dishes down. His chair slides back and he says "come" I wasnt told to rise. So I turn and present myself to him from the doorway, his chair can see pretty much any room in the house. I start to stand and quickly stop, damn it I almost broke another rule not listening.


Slowly I crawl to him making sure every muscle moves gracefully and that Master remembers that I and a great slave. I reach his chair and bow in front of him. The pose hes taught me. Head on my hands on the floor, ass up. Open to him. He taps my head releasing me from the pose tells me to rise and eat. I get up and walk to my chair to sit. I look at the food infront of me it looks and smells delicious.


Tonight was suppose to be a sweet dinner for us. I was going to get to have something different than my salads and chicken. I could feel my mouth start to water as I looked at the steak and potatoes. The beautifully roasted veggies with garlic and butter. My stomach growls. He raises his eyebrows and tells me to move the plate away from me and put it in the middle of the table. As I do as I'm told he gets up and walks to the kitchen he comes back with another plate puts it in front of me and it's the salad with the chicken. Yes its good but the potatoes ugh I was so looking forward to this meal I skipped lunch and my afternoon snack. My stomach just gave that away too. I bow my head and quietly say thank you Master.


"Kitten when we eat it will always be together. I will not discipline you at meal time because this is when we connect about our day. Today will be no different even though I do have many points to address with you after dinner." I say "yes Master" with my head down. He sternly says "kitten!" I look up and look at him and say "I understand Daddy." It Dawn's on me that no matter how much I messed up he wont deny me or himself our dinner time together. We will be Daddy and kitten always at the table but after I know Master will demand of his slave.


We eat and talk like we always do. I pick at my food and he asks "kitten why arent you eating." I look at him with tears in my eyes " Daddy I didnt mean to displease you, I dont ever want you to be upset with me. I let the outside forces get to me and instead if doing what I always promised and talking to you about it I was a brat. I was worse then a brat I was a temperamental woman and took my aggression out on you. When inrealized what I was doing I became even more upset and continued to mess up. I am sorry and because of this I have no appetite and I just want to serve you to make up for it "


He takes some time and thinks about what I said. He tells me he accepts my apology but I still need to learn and be reminded to never do it again. He tells me to hurry and clean up from dinner and wait for him on my pillow. I finish cleaning and walk out to the living area. I see my cushion is still by the door so I go and kneel there and wait.


I hear him approach behind me. He pulls my hair back and sweeps it over my shoulder. He unclasps by beautiful green day collar and places it in his pocket. I hear him pulling something out of his pocket. I feel the cold thick leather slip around my neck. The cold metal of the clasp in the back. I know what collar he had put on me. It's my slave collar. It had the loop in the front so he can attach the leash. This helps me stay in the right head space to learn the lesson. He clips the leash on and tells me " no matter how many times I tried to get you to listen to me today you didnt. This is the only way I can get you to clear your head and listen to your Master as I know what is best for you."


He takes the leather of the leash and runs it down my back. Right to my ass. Over one cheek then the other. I get goose bumps. He tugs the leash just a little and tells me to stand and put both hands against the wall. I do so and he spreads my legs a little more. I am standing there open to him. He pushes my shoulders forward so my chest and face lean against the wall. He steps away letting the leash fall against my back and I jump. The anticipation of what's to come is killing me.


He walks away and I hear ice clinking in a glass. He is taking his time coming back and I hear him moving about. Finally after a few minutes that feel like hours he comes back. He tells me "kitten I placed your slave collar and leash this means you will take your punishment as I see fit. You were disrespectful today by ignoring me when I texted, you were sarcastic and bratty when you needed to listen not just once but several times. I have gotten the flogger, I have the end of the leash and I have my hands what shall I use first." He makes me wait. Then I feel him pull me to stand and he slips his tie around my eyes. He tells me to lean against the wall again. I do as told. I hear the swish of the flogger and I brace myself. The snap of the tails makes me jump but I feel nothing. He does it again and still nothing. He reaches over and moves the leash off the middle of my back and over my shoulder. He swings the flogger again and this time I feel something trail down my back I suck in a breath thinking there is pain when I realize its the ice. Hes tracing it over my back down to my butt. I let out a small moan and he stops. I bite my lip to not make a sound. I hear the flogger and this time I feel the sting. One strike left, one strike right. He comes over and runs the pink skin i want to react. I whimper a little and he tells me "shhh kitten, that was for the offensives mentioned before. Will you ignore your master again?" " no Master" I say shaking. "Will you be disrespectful and bratty together again?"
"No Master please forgive me?"


He tells me I have one more offense to be punished for. He kisses my neck and slides the leash into his hand. He reaches around un clips it and tells me to lean over the arm of the couch. I do as told. Leash in his hand he spreads my feet and tells me when hes done he is taking what is his. My insides clench and I can feel myself get wet.


He runs his hands over my ass and says " you know how I feel about you texting while driving. You jeopardized what is mine put it in danger and for that you will feel the leash." Again he gives 2 wacks. Enough to make me whimper and it hurt but not to hard to cause me damage. Each cheek is on fire and then I hear him unzip his pants. I know hes hungry and isnt going to be slow. I feel his cock against the wet opening and I moan. He thrusts in and growls. This is a man reclaiming his slave. Reminding her that she is his prized possession. He fucks me hard and fast and denies my orgasm. He keeps me on the edge and pulls out before he claims my ass. This is our undoing. Unable to control ourselves I beg and he says now my slave. My orgasm rips through me. His follows. My orgasm doesn't stop. I slip into the bliss of us.


I open my eyes and find myself in his lap his hands in my hair his lips kissing my forehead. He smiles and tells me welcome back kitten.
I look up at him and whisper the only thing I can. "Thank you daddy"

 

6 days ago. Tue 21 Jan 2020 02:46:48 PM IST

       I find peace in writing. I find comfort in the release it gives me. The past 3 days I havent journaled like I do nightly, i stare at the blank screen thinking whats the point if no one reads it.  I try to write a story or something and the words come out all jumbled or fade away halfway through. 

      I have figured out that when I dont write the nightmares come.  I know it's the not being able to express myself and get it all out, but that's the stupid cycle.  I need to write to feel calm, I cant express myself clearly, the ex triggers me , and then I'm blocked, and need to write even more. 

     My ex has a way of sensing when my life is off balance. It's his gift. He doesnt use it well. He takes the opportunity to normally say something negative and hurt me all over again.  Why I still believe the crap that comes out of his mouth I will never know. Well this one was different.  5 words of concern sent me over the edge. 

      My dreams last night were flashbacks of the great moments. Where I mattered where our family mattered where I was blind and naive to the double life he lived. All these moments where I thought we had issues but were going to make it no matter what. Our sex life would come back, we would communicate better we would be on top of the world. (I'm a dreamer, now that I know the truth I see it never would have been that way.)  

     I think that's what hurts the most. Not the betrayal but the dreams I had and promises that were made were shattered. When the flashbacks stop I'm taken to the moment I found out. Walking up the hall seeing my step son start a fire and dropping to my knees. I dont know what words came out of my mouth but what i do remember is my step sons as his head fell and he said "my dads a fucking idiot"

So many things happened between that moment and him finally leaving 3 years worth of many things. Apparently my ex likes birthdays he stepped out on me the day my daughter was ripped from my body, he spend my other daughters birthday working late (not even working that day)  my sons birthday in a hotel in the town we were living in. The best birthday was my step daughters that's the day I told him theres the door. 

Sorry I know this is long but apparently a purge was needed. So I find people who can quiet his grip and the cycle stops I can write dreams are good ect.  I was in a good place being without LL and then it happened my ex asked me if I made it home ok.  My roomie picked up the kids last night. There was no need for him to message me. My roomie plays devil's advocate saying maybe he meant to.message A, I look at her like duh fucktard her name starts with A mine with J... theres a lot between her name and mine. 

    So here I sit an hour after I woke up because of the stupid dreams. Trying to figure out how to get out of my own way to write and a term used here before comes to my head emotional masochist... maybe that's me....

     Sorry for this long post of babble but maybe putting it out there in the universe will give me some clarity.  Maybe if I acknowledge these things they wi fade away. 

    Juat remember were not alone.  Someone somewhere has traveled a similar road. Someone maybe behind us walking the same path.  Love and support eachother, guide others home. 

    I will be the rock when you need me,

the light in the window,

the calm in the storm.

I will be quiet and listen,

I will ramble on when you need noise,

I will wrap my arms around you when you need to cry

I will stand strong next to you

Hold your hand 

Remind you you are worth it

Light your way home

I will be your friend

Always yours j

1 week ago. Mon 20 Jan 2020 08:18:07 AM IST

I had a great conversation with a new friend today and with her permission I'm so gonna use this!

Everyone here blogs about what they are feeling. As a submissive you have to understand our brains never stop. We analyze everyone's blogs and think oh crap did I do something wrong. I personally do this a lot. I find myself reading blogs by people I've interacted with and then go dang that was about me. Now please know its not because I have a big head it's because my need to please people and then thinking I have hurt or upset them flips my world upside down. So I then go off on this tail spin of two emotions anger because how dare they or disappointment in myself because how dare i.

I also am one who pours my heart out here and expressed my whole journey, I admit my mistakes, celebrate my triumphs, cry my tears, and LMFAO. I tell people all the time my blogs are not about you it's about me and my journey. If I write about someone they are privy to that information and I post it after they have read it.

So saying all that I have to say IF THE SHOE FITS WEAR IT Cinderfuckinella. Figure out why it fits you and then work on you where you think your lacking.

I am far from perfect, hell I dont wanna be perfect. I am a work in progress who for the time being is numb but that is no reason to kick a person while they are down. Lets grow up and be the adults we claim to be and not joke about or talk about people when they are hurting. There are real people on the other side of these blogs. Yes your blog is your space too but do you really want to look back and see the negativity you were sending out in the universe?

I had my joy for a few short weeks, I am so thankful that from that I have an amazing friend who I will always be there for (I said it, I meant it) I wont let someone elses words effect me or hurt me because your shoes can be left in the box at the store they dont fit me

This Cinderella is running barefoot into the forest!

1 week ago. Sun 19 Jan 2020 11:28:30 PM IST

I wrote a blog awhile back that inspired an idea. One that never got to take off. So today I'm reposting the blog and the start of the story idea that goes with it. 

 

Enjoy 

Always J

 

Jumping up my heart races
Every inch of me shakes
My breathing rapid
My eyes looking for him
He randomly comes in the dream
The demon usually doesnt have a face
I feel his presence before I see him
My skin starts to crawl..
He reaches into my thoughts
My fear his playground.
He keeps looking trying to find something
He stirs so many fears as he looks
He stops and smiles
Hes found it
He walks to it quickly
I feel the panic
He reaches and grabs
I whimper as he holds my deepest most dark secrets
My fear
He shows his grin as he opens the box
Slowly he reaches inside
He moves his hand around
He looks puzzled
He has nothing in his hand
He rushes to me
And asks what it is.
I tell him my fears are laid out
"They are right there for you
You didnt see them because you were to busy wanting to find this.
My deepest fear is nothing
I fear being nothing, having nothing and nothing to love or love me back. I fear the emptiness the loneliness. I fear the dark and unknown. I fear loving and being loved. I fear myself."
He sets the box down huffed and looked around
"You have all of this and you fear those simple things." In that moment they stared, some how understanding eachothers role in this nightly game. They stood together knowing there would be more chases but tonight this one night they could bring eachother comfort.

Story:


He visited her nightly, sometimes looking for her fear, others just standing next to her. Every night starts the same but never has the same ending....

She lay in bed cuddled under the blankets. Shivering even in the warmth. She pulls them closer to her face knowing tonight he will come. Slowly sleep starts to take over and deep inside she knows he is already here.

Sensing him before she sees him she feels the blanket shift at her feet. His cold icy hands touch her feet. Lightly they move up her legs. Sliding over her skin. Her body wakes to his touch. Her flesh shivers at his touch. He works his way up and slides next to her naked body. Side by side nose to nose he touches her head and says "tonight I will find what I want, tonight I will take your desire and make it ours."

She moans in her sleep giving into his power and let's him in. He runs through her mind racing past the chaos. He stops when he sees what shes been trying to hide. He smirks and walks slowly to it. Picking it up he holds it carefully in his big hands. "This tiny thought is mine, this one little thing will make you mine. I will show you your fantasy and what you deserve. Do you choose to take this journey with me."

Slipping her hand in his she looks up and smiles . "Hold on tight" he says "this will be a night you wont forget." The light goes out and blackness surrounds her. She feels like she is spinning but her feet never leave the ground. His words whisper in her ear "Open your eyes little one and get ready to run tonight this dreamon will make your fantasy come true."

Opening her eyes she glances around. In a dark forest only small bits of moonlight break through the trees. Looking for the dreamon she hears the crack of the branches all around her. She feels trapped. Anxiety builds and her body takes over, fight or flight... she runs.

She runs as fast as she can the sound of others steps right along with her. Hands reach and grab at her but she slips away. Her body exhausting itself her pace starts to slow. He breathing labored she feels light headed. The adrinline burst gone she now has no other driving force. The others around her slow as well reaching and touching her. She jumps at each touch and starts to fade. As she passes out she sees him standing on the edge of the cliff, the dreamon watches it all play out as she fades to black.

She wakes on a cold slab of stone. hands holding her down. She hears his voice before she sees him. "You call me dreamon and use to fear me, others have different names for me. I can be an incubus to those who dont surrender, I can be a dream weaver to those who do. For you my pet I am your dreamon a mix of both. Tonight I will show you the good in your bad." She feels his hand slide up her leg to the hem of her t shirt. In one move he rips it open. Her body jumps to try to run again but the hands hold her down.

 

1 week ago. Sun 19 Jan 2020 05:30:07 AM IST

This seems to be my theme song... 

 

 

I've gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don't want less, I don't want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm
Yeah, my life is what I'm fighting for
Can't part the sea, can't reach the shore
And my voice becomes the driving force
I won't let this pull me overboard
God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don't let me drown, drown, drown
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown
So pull me up from down below
'Cause I'm underneath the undertow
Come dry me off and hold me close
I need you now, I need you most
God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don't let me drown, drown, drown
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown
Don't let me drown, drown, drown
Keep my head above water, above water
And I can't see in the stormy weather
I can't seem to keep it all together
And I, I can't swim the ocean like this forever
And I can't breathe
God, keep my head above water
I lose my breath at the bottom
Come rescue me, I'll be waiting
I'm too young to fall asleep
God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don't let me drown
Don't let me drown (don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown)
Don't let me drown (don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown)
Keep my head above water, above water

 

Her battle and strength is such an inspiration to me

1 week ago. Thu 16 Jan 2020 03:05:29 PM IST

After care
This is something we all need and deserve. Even a D needs this. The emotions and adrenaline are so high during a session both need to take care after hece the name.

That isnt what this is about. After care is so much more and used in so many other times. Like for me right mow the after care fron changing my status is something I need.

LL is still mine my heart wont ever let go, I will wait and guide him home. Now home is where ever the heart is so sometimes you have to let go and encourage them in order to find their home. (If that makes sense I'm rambling through tears)

LL and I check on eachother multiple times a day because this choice wasnt easy for us. I ask the hard questions and make him think he tries to remind me to breathe. We are supporting eachother we are helping eachother (I dont know about me I'm off and my thoughts are everywhere) we are trying to keep the other cared for.

I hope you see my point D/s is a deep deep thing. When there is a bump in the relationship it's so important to keep checking on eachother. If there is a bad split then as a community we need to make sure those people are okay. We provide the after care.

Love eachother hug eachother and be thankful for every moment

Now I'm off to cuddle with my blanket ( yes my jack skellington) and let my tears fall more eventually they will stop or I'll be hooked up to another iv bag....

No matter what path you take, what journey or adventure you go on I will leave the candle burning in the window, I will shine the green light from my porch and my heart will call to you. You will always be able to find your way to me.
As promised always yours
J

1 week ago. Thu 16 Jan 2020 02:43:56 AM IST

Things in this life cause us to take a good look into our now. People come into our lives at the right moment and open our eyes to things we kept in the corner. When 2 planners get together it can be an amazing thing. Then one will plan and search ahead get lost in that. The other will keep trying to pull them back into the moment. They challenge eachother and show eachother the possiblities that are out there.


It's with a heavy heart that I say LL and I are not on the same path but still side by side. I opened his eyes to so many things and he saw the future. He knew there were things he needed to address if he were to live his best life.


With that said there is no choosing sides or bashing of the other. No one needs to tell either of us how the one dropped the ball that's not what happened. He saw what he needed to do and I accepted and support that.


Yes my heart is broken and I'm grieving but i also am so proud and happy for him to finally take back what is his, his life. His story is his to tell but becasue so many could see how well we fit and cheered us on I felt this needed to be said.


Some of you will be smug and think that's what you get, others will support us and lift us up. I honestly dont care what you think or say or do because for one month and 10 days I was in my perfect moment.
I will take the time I need and go behind my walls, I will crawl back into my tree and hide. Someday I will rise again for now I will use my blog as always the outlet and journal of my journey.


LL will always be my Lycan I wont ever let go of that or him. I promised always, I meant it.

 

The winds calm and storms fade away

I stand here once again alone

I watch as you walk away

Not looking back

My heart breaks more

Knowing the fight you have ahead

But trying to do as you said

Staying put being a friend

While you march off into your battle

You continue down your path without me

I turn from you and walk back

To the tree I found comfort in

I sit at the base knees to my chest and cry

I must let you go so you can see what's out there

To let you find your path

So lost and alone my tears over take me

The wind starts to howl around me

I cant hear it's so loud

I try to stand but I get knocked back down

I curl up giving into the wind

I lay there and shiver

Vunerable to the predators

I close my eyes and beg the darkness to take me

In the darkness I am familiar

There is nothing here and it is comfort

Even it wont take me

I am weak, I am lost and I am alone

1 week ago. Tue 14 Jan 2020 09:48:16 PM IST

Today has been extremely hard for me. To many changes and not enough time to catch up. I wrote this a few days ago but wanted to share.. 

 

The wild wind blows

It chills me to the bone

To some she calls to them

With her desire

To others freezes them in place

I stand still making her cut around me

She reaches deep inside me

Trying to pull my soul

I watch others around me

They let go

Drift off and float away

Trying to ride the draft

I stay anchored where I am

Refusing to let go.

She blows harder

Trying to knock me down

I see you across the way fighting

Trying to stay centered

I reach for you but your to far

I watch as others grab and pull

Taking your footing away,

Stay with me I think

As hands grab and pull at you

Your glance reaches mine

I lock eyes with you

In this moment I give you all I have

I send my strength

My courage

My support

My love

I see the wind start to cut around you

She is loosing her fight to take you

Your feet just above the ground

Eyes locked with mine

She gives one last push

You dont move

I may not be able to grab you

My friendship will be your anchor

I will not let you get lost

Her whirling wind wont blind you

I will shine bright to show you the way

Her cold bite wont chill you

I will love you to keep you warm

The wind will fight

So will I

You deserve the sunshine and joy

I will make sure you get that

My feet start to move

To you I am drawn

I reach my hand out

You take hold

Together we can stand against the tornado

I will hold you safe as long as you need me

I wont let go

No matter how far the wind tries to take you

I will be your tether to now.

When my turn comes to face the wind

You will be there to ground me

It is what we do for eachother

You are my center, my home

I your anchor.

Friendship and communication is the core to this life. I will always be a friend, I will always be me and defend what I can. I will stand strong against the winds that blow and be the anchor when I'm needed. 

Even when I'm lost I will guide you home...

J