Finding your way isnt easy especially in this new world were living in. People throw obsticles at you and you can divert to avoid them. Life gives ypu challenges you over come and become stronger.
Somehow i have become lost. I have been working endlessly for 3 months and its became my sole focus. I have started to hate my job because of the stress and ive started to shut down. I realized today as i was sitting here getting ready to answer yet another work text that i lost me.
I have become the COVID expert, gained knowledge and excelled at my job. I have cared for those around me and fought to make sure this crap stays away from my patients and staff. We have taken 2 hits in one week where staff tested positive and it made me feel defeated. I couldnt protect them. No amount of training i gave was enough.
I actually stopped for a minute today in walmart watching people around me and understood no matter what tools someone is given how they choose to use them is up to them. I cant keep everyone safe. They have free will. So in this moment i also understood that i stopped doing for me. I wanted to rescue others and forgot me.
I havent been a good friend by not checking on my friends, i havent been a good mom by working the extra hours, i havent even been a good me because my smile has faded behind the mask. I am lost.
So now the question i have is how do i find me again. When i entered this site i was scared and shy. I slowly ventured out. I have learned a lot from here that i use daily. So i am going to start there. Live like i use to and make the one that hopefully someday comes proud of who i was when he wasnt here. I will find my pride again and my strenth. I know i can do this because i am a strong woman.
This world of kink maybe hard to navigate but its just like the vanilla world we learn to adapt, analize, grow, and change. So heres to you and i growing and changing. Finding ourselves when the obsticles are everywhere around us.