Sirius Mind

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are not alone.

2020- 2021 has been a very stressful year for everyone. I for myself have found my drive and desire to be dominant very low.
This has been an absolute shock for me as I believed that my kink was such an important part of my life.

I've been active in the lifestyle for 8 years. The pandemic has affected the buisness terribly. This has increased the stress and workload and anxiousness to the next level.

I had started a dynamic with an amazing lady. But idk suddenly what happened 15 days back , I lost all zeal or excitement to try something with my lady .
Truth be told, I'm just exausted. I'm just running on auto pilot. I don't know what I want.
Often, dominance can lead to real "executive fatigue." Yeah, you're making all the decisions but that can be exhausting.

If anyone else dominant or submissive is going through the same , trust me there's nothing wrong with you.

Stress affects everyone differently, and losing the desire to step into a position of responsibility seems like a very reasonable stress response. When things are tough in life, you are much less enticed by the idea of taking responsibility for someone else's life too, even in small ways. Don't let yourself forget that you, yourself, are a whole-ass person, not just a dominant of whatever persuasion. Sometimes other parts of that person are going to need your care and attention as a priority, and that's okay.

You see, if you're the one creating the toxic atmosphere you have two choices. Please don't take this personally as I'm trying to stay as objective as possible.

1: Leave him/Her. However, make it blindingly obvious that you are leaving because you can't handle how badly you've treated him/her and you think he/she deserves better. Don't even dare mention his/her bad points to try to make yourself feel better but show him/her how sorry you are and ending the relationship is your way of trying to make it right.

2: Stay. BUT!! Sit him/her down. Tell him/her that you recognise how you've been acting and that you know it's wrong. Tell him/her you're sorry and that you are going to work every day for the rest of your life to make sure that never happens again. If he/she sees the light and decides he/she wants to leave you, deal with it. He/she is under no obligation to stay with you and you apologising does not give you a guilt-free pass for what you have done.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but toxic relationships can destroy people's confidence for years and if you recognise that what you're doing is wrong, then you have absolutely no excuse to continue on with it.

I have certain rules when I'm exploring the kink journey with my partner.

There’s a reason this is my number one rule when entering into a BSDM dynamic.

Good Morning -means so much more than what is said between partners. It’s an...I’m awake and the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes was you. I want to make sure you know I’m still here, I care for you and you are an important part of my day.

Good night -as trivial as it sounds it’s not goodbye, but it’s the last text I send because I want you to know you’re on my mind when I close my eyes to lay down. It’s the feeling of comfort that your person wants you to feel as you’re in bed and thinking of them to end your day on a happy note. No matter what that day brought, no matter the craziness. The phone calls that went missed or the miscommunication throughout the day, whatever has happened, it’s the way to end the day on even ground with the hope of the new day to come.

Do not take for granted those that have provided this for you.

Yes, I am disabled. But I am also kinky.

A lot of folks don’t realize that the two go hand in hand. Often, the articles that are out there talking about how to explore BDSM or kink don’t touch on the fact that there are disabled folks that indulge in this lifestyle. 

You can practice BDSM with disabilities. Dominance and submissiveness are aspects of your inner self. Your sexual identity is not affected by size, strength, or mobility.

MY DOMINANCE IS MY PERSONALITY TRAIT.

I have accepted the body I have and I use it to its full potential by being incredibly imaginative and creative.

Dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationship is a difficult process. One needs all the motivation and support one can get.

Accept that you can’t always make them happy
Happiness comes as a choice to many people. If you tried your best to make your partner happy yet they still didn’t then it is not so much as your fault . You need to accept that you cannot always make them happy no matter what you do.

No matter how smart, loving, humorous and understanding you were towards your partner – you cannot make them fall for you. Their feelings are justified to them in their own way, nothing less and nothing more.

Someday you will meet the one who appreciates all you do for them. Don’t let one defeat rule your entire future.
blaming yourself for the breakup is foolish .
you deserve to live your life to its fullest too instead of chasing a light too far gone.

When the odds will work in your favor, you will eventually come to terms with the simple fact that you cannot control lives and happiness of other people no matter what.