Bondage and Discipline
Dominant and Submissive
Sadist and Masochist
These are the things that make up BDSM. Lets put away all of the various kinks and fetishes for a moment. Those 6 words are what make up this lifestyle. I know there will be those that disagree, and yes I know that there is a lot of things that fall under the umbrella. But lets talk about B.D.S.M. versus being kinky. Being in lifestyle (BDSM) is much more than kinky sex. Yes, that can be part of it and more often is than not, but being kinky in the bedroom does not mean you are in the lifestyle. It just means you are kinky in bed. Lifestyle brings the elements of the 6 words together. The primary thing is it involves Power Exchange to happen. This means that 1 person, the Dominant, has been given power over the submissive (With Consent) to some degree. That degree is discussed and consented to by both parties. Whether that is a partial PE with just some things, or a Total PE where the Dominant has been given full control.
Kink on the other hand may have aspects of BDSM and visa versa, but it is not BDSM due to the fact of the PE, or lack there of. You can have the kinks of bondage, spankings, and all the other fun play with your partner(s). But unless there is a Power Exchange, they are just kinks. Even if you have one partner that is the "dominant one" in bed, that is still just kinky sex. (Again, you may disagree and that is okay)
BDSM goes outside of just the bedroom. It is a lifestyle that we choose. This is why it is called "Lifestyle". Our lives are intertwined by the structure of BDSM. It is the structure of the dynamic that makes it what it is. The trust from the submissive to hand over certain aspects of their being. The honor of the Dominant is to do what is right and in the best interests of their submissive in those things. Just that alone gives you the difference of BDSM vs Kink.
It is perfectly fine to be kinky. We all are!! But there is a difference in saying that you are kinky and saying you are in lifestyle. Please know the difference. Understand what it is that you are identifying as. Just because you are kinky does not mean you are lifestyle.
(And that is okay because we will still like you. ?)