My mind is an oubliette

pizzapizza​(sub female) - honestly, same. i have no problem with people being poly, but i can't be someone's secondary relationship? it's so hard to build that trust if you're unsure where you actually stand.

Likeavirgin​(sub female) - I'm finding it unhealthy to me. I know it's my hangup, but it is what it is. I don't feel special and should. He's a very nice man, but I don't think he would bat an eyelash if I disappeared from him

Dj Ulfenstein - Pitty party pfff i see no such thing. To be rather honest we all struggle with our own demons and you have all but nothing falling short of slowly facing them. When people treat us like we are worthless amd garbage we tend to get inside our own heads and pick at the scabs of flaws. You have a right to question and voice your thoughts, you have a right to be dificult amd unique, being poly is fine for a lot, however it does not work for everyone. You should not have to trade your happiness or comprimise any aspect of who you are to satisfy anothers needs, wants, desires, and happiness. Communication rather lack of it is what will make any relationship fail. To quote one of my fav tv shows, death ends a life, not a relationship.
Try again, fail again, fail better.
If you are sacrificing any part of your self without the counter part willing to give equal in return then reguardless of what the relationship is, it is doomed from the start. You like many others are a beautiful soul, a person, a human being with feelings, needs, wants and desires,no matter what we all are flaws and imperfections. Never ever ever silence your voice or soul for the sake of someone else, ask questions being bold fuck walking on egg shells stomp those shells into tiny shattered pieces, and when the time is right, the flow and energy of the universe will bring the right one into your life, so enjoy the ride let the current taking you down stream and take in the scenary,breath it all in, don't fight it, just go with it, get lost in it, let it drink you in, and in return appriciate the value it has to offer for life does not offer many joyful rides but for the few it does, well you, i or anyone are the few it does offer no matter what we look like, or whatever baggage we carry. Just my thoughts

Likeavirgin​(sub female) - Thank you for your kind words 💛

Dj Ulfenstein - Puts a hand up in gest. Not at all. Sometimes we forget our selfs. Insert yodas voice a positive nudge you need

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - I commend you for posting this. What an amazing and courageous thing to do. It brings to light the misunderstanding of Poly. I am not an expert, nor have I ever been in a poly relationship (it's not my thing, but I respect those whose it is) So what I am about to say is from what I have learned (I will ask my Poly friends to come and check. I would also say, in my opinion, this would be a fabulous Forum post - to get a lot of perspective). Okay, so back to Poly...

Being in a Poly relationship should NEVER make you feel like you're last, Thursday, Scrap, or whatever. It should build you up with ALL the love you receive. All members (well usually) love one another. There is no one higher or lower (unless there has been an established ALPHA), otherwise ALL LOVE ALL!

What you described here sounds like a Harem! A Dom who is a collector. NOT Poly! If it were poly, the Dom does not just ask if you're "okay" with another being "added". They have YOU vet their potential, as the others too. You're bringing someone into your "extended relationship/family" which means you're sharing and loving each other. So all should have a say if it's a good fit.

I will end with, I hope you find more strength in leaving as you are WAY TOO IMPORTANT to feel like second fiddle! Shine your light as bright as it is... Never allow anyone to dim it!

Much love and respect! 🤗❤️🤗

My Dear{Trust} - This!!!

Likeavirgin​(sub female) - Thank you Morley, I appreciate your kind and thoughtful words 🤗💛

My Dear{Trust} - Poly is great for some, not all. If it is not for you, that is absolutely ok!

Likeavirgin​(sub female) - Thank you. It's nice to remember that your differences aren't bad just different. 💛💛

My Dear{Trust} - Precisely!!!

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} - I was part of a harem unknowingly once....and yeah I was the afterthought or the punching bag. Don't trade what you know you deserve for that. Its hard, so hard, to stand and say no I'm not okay with this. But in the long run it will be for the best. You DESERVE everything, not to be Thursday!!!!

Likeavirgin​(sub female) - Speaking out, can be extremely difficult. Thank you 💛💛

MsDove​(sub female){Eternal Pi} - In that this Dom had 7 girls one week and eight the next would make me think he is just racking up numbers and not building relationships. If all you want is "play" that might be OK. But I don't get that feeling from you.
You don't need to do any deep soul searching about this situation. There is nothing selfish, wrong or lacking in you because you want to be fully loved. We ALL want to be loved. Your self-love has NOTHING to do with why your gut said no. This particular situation was not right for you. When the situation is right, it will fall into place. ❤🕊