I'm finally embracing all of me. I love who I am and who I'm continuing to be. I have been poly for so long, I don't remember when it began. I have so much love for others that I need to share it with more than one person, hell more than two people. I also have to remember to have most of that love for myself. When I approached my ex that I wanted a girlfriend, he was against it. He felt that I would be cheating on him (like he should talk). For awhile I had put that idea aside. I didn't realize that he was preventing me from being my true authentic self in so many ways. In 2013-2014, I said fuck it, enough is enough, put an ad on craigslist and the hunt began.. After awhile someone did answer my ad and we began to chat not only through email, but also in person. She's the most amazing person I have met, she is such a beautiful person inside and out. She became family, we might not have everything in common, it makes the relationship between us special. We support each other til this day, we may not see each other all the time, but when we do it's special and we have a good time. When she's having a bad day at work, she knows she can call me and vent, I'll listen no matter how long she vents and what the reason behind her vent. She feels bad when she isn't able to spend the time she likes with me. I tell her that's ok, schedules are hectic and she does have a life outside of me. Her dream is to build a home on her father's property big enough for my family and her and her hubby (not included in this relationship). Being neighbors would be the best thing ever (naughty, naughty, naughty thoughts) I would like the other person to be part of this as well,(who knows the change could be good)
Physically, I have embraced myself as well. I never thought of myself as a beautiful or sexy person. She has shown me that I am beautiful and sexy (especially my ass lol) You know what, she's right, if she accepts my small plump tits, big ass, fupa, thick thighs, I can do the same. I need to stop hiding (covering) my body so much. Find a nice mini skirt ( i really miss wearing those) there go the naughty, naughty, naughty thoughts again lol. I remember wearing a black and white checkered mini skirt and getting fucked while i was looking (hanging) out of the window. Watching people walking by and not knowing what's really going on. YEAH!!! I miss the thrill of getting laid in the oddest places, with people walking by, cars driving by and not knowing what's going on (or do they)? I wanted to tell her so bad to pull over so i can play with/suck on her tits. ugh I have being deprived lol
Oh yeah where was I? Oh embracing my authentic self, I'm also a loyal/faithful/giving person, which is also something I needed to embrace more. When I realized that these qualities will cause others to take advantage of me(and they have), I shut down big time, rebuilt that wall I allowed to be taken down. I shouldn't be afraid to say no, to say that something is not working for me. To walk away without feeling any guilt no matter who much love I have for a person. For me to embrace my spiritual gifts no matter what I was told during my upbringing and by extreme religious people and relatives. For now, I will end this blog here. I'm going to enjoy this beautiful day, who knows, my hunter instincts might kick in and mama will have a new addition to the family ;)
