I only exist in the space of the other. My strength, my joy, my love - We are the moments we share.
I have no title, no absolutes, no fixed adornment. I am not submissive in the sense that it is in me and absent in another. I am what I am at the time that I am. I am submissive to all and to no one. I submit to the world in complete faith of its wisdom, acceptance, love and deliverance.
I cannot be defined in absolutes but can be labelled with qualifiers just for common understanding and no more - ever disrupting, ever changing, ever subsiding, ever becoming.
I grow into another and another. Or is it that I strip down to become less and less.
4 years ago. Wednesday, December 22, 2021 at 6:33 PM
With my crackly voice I thought I might read one of my favoured pieces of writing. This is
Ode to Water
Water,
With all your wisdom, beauty and power, I am in awe.
Beckon me toward your house, let me lay at your feet. Grace me with your unspeakable caress; take my body and release me from my flesh. Hold me while I learn to be in your presence, that place of privilege. Know me, in all my past, present and future, and let me worship you with all my truth.
Wash the flesh away. Show me raw, naked and pure.
Take me as you need to, to the depths of my soul, to the depths of your saintly core. And in return, I give you all. I will honour all that you whisper in my ear. I open my body, my flesh, my mind, my being for you in complete faith of your light, your complete knowing. Let me be worthy of your wisdom, beauty and power.
4 years ago. Sunday, December 19, 2021 at 10:11 AM
? Game on!
Well, well, well - nice to see you all taking it easy.
You look a bit too comfortable, too complacent, too familiar in your Sunday dress.
What you need is a good shock to the system.
There is an absence that's burning with desire - the memory fading but an ache remains.
Consumed by the thought; I really need to be punished - I need sting, I need throb and I really need a good shock to the senses.
Let's start sloooooowwww.....
'Secretary' 2002 - Like Rocky Horror, this film can never be seen too many times ?.
Mmm yes please.
The preliminary show is drawing to a close folks but to complete the well-roundedness of multimedia and sensory stimulation, I'll leave you with a sound bite ?✌️.
4 years ago. Thursday, December 2, 2021 at 10:32 AM
French Philosopher Simone Weil described attentiveness as a "need of the soul".
Attentiveness is to be present deliberately and devote ones whole being to a single activity, object or person.
(For ADHDers, it is called hyperfocus ?.)
The following video is an artwork by Bill Viola titled 'Ascension'. He encapsulates the essence of "quieting the mind", a term you are familiar with in the context of BDSM activity.
What a glorious space to exist in, where everything in one's mind drops away and only sensation remains. It's the ultimate space of relaxation and peace.
This space, devoid of time and social construct, is a state of the psyche entered through various mental activities and response pathways. The gateway to transcendence/out of body experience is connected to the reward system, pleasure and attentiveness. The physical circumstances that create the mind state include but not limited to:
Meditation
Sex - intimacy, reward, power exchange, sensory stimulation, association
Near death experience
Drugs
Attentiveness applies to meditation and sex, specifically BDSM.
Activities that have taken me to that mental plane have involved that consuming of my being - all attention is directed to the present experience.
Rope - The sensual feelings, single focus, being still, and holding position
Impact - extreme focus and overwhelming of senses results in body shut down - subspace (present only in mind, but also not present.)
Holding position - presenting, slave positions, furniture play - intense focus and determination to hold still. This is attentiveness to one important and challenging task - pride and when pleased rewarded with pleasure.
Meditation or mindfulness, depending on your own understood definitions, is practicing attentiveness by focusing on sensations, including visualisation - It is totally cerebral, a quieting of the mind, a stripping, to move freely and to transcend beyond thought - to just feel.
The ultimate pleasure zone and the practice of attentiveness - so many ways to explore and receive pleasure.
Devote yourself to something or someone worthy and find this peace in your mind. ?
4 years ago. Friday, November 12, 2021 at 11:40 PM
"An interval of hesitation"
I heard this statement while listening to a podcast on Neglected Practices: Attentiveness. It refers to the practice of pausing and grounding oneself before continuing with little awareness. It is about:
- speaking less and thinking more,
- seeing outside of oneself,
- appreciating and seeing the world with awe,
- connecting with what truly matters and remains foundational over time
- relinquishing control, ego and the focus on surface level distractions,
- living with an open heart and mind,
- being present and
- going beyond what is visible and status quo
The sentiment expressed with "an interval of hesitation" is found in the creative world. Artists are naturally drawn to the wonders of the world; they ask questions with no intention of them being answered. They observe and ponder on the fringes with critical eye on the constructs of society. Artists and other creatives cast their attention to humanity and the natural world.
I am obsessed with sky, clouds and water at the moment. They are the epitome of ephemeral! And I love all things ambiguous, transient and unknowable.
Dutch artist Berndnaut Smilde is fascinated by the ambiguous, fluid state of clouds. His work speaks to the sublime character of nature. And it's in stillness that the sublime is seen and appreciated.
4 years ago. Monday, September 6, 2021 at 10:00 AM
Recently, I have noticed an attitude toward finding or waiting for 'The One'. And I completely respect this sentiment from people. It's always been there; it has just become more apparent to me at the moment because of where I am in my journey. I am not there; I do not see things that way - I am searching for my Many.
I want Many experiences.
I want Many opportunities.
I want Many men.
I want Many women.
I want Many travels.
I want Many moments of ecstacy.
I want to feel Many emotions.
I want Many loves.
I want Many lovers.
I want Many sunsets and sunrises.
I want Many nights.
I want Many days.
I want Many swims and Many walks.
I want Many times to play.
I want Many smiles.
I want Many hugs.
I want Many kisses.
I want Many dancing moments and I want Many moments of laughter.
I never want to limit myself from all the beauty of being in the world. I never want to stop loving myself. I always want to be able to fly, to feel the rush of air on my face and wings.
One of my favourite things in the world is hopping on a big swing that takes me so far forward and then so far backward, where I can't see what's behind me unless I look at it upside down. I love upsidedown world!
“I became addicted to sensation as each instrument and rhythm brought new sensation. The anticipation of waiting for the next blow, and then the release. The impacts and then the absence, or ghost, of pain sends me on a wave of sensation. Everything is acutely felt and received by my body and mind; this takes me to the meditative state where everything melts away and time disappears. Subspace – to be revisited in another post.”
From previous post ‘Impact: pain and pleasure’
I’ve been to quite a few places in my mind, but only once have I experienced subspace. It was so early in my journey – perhaps the second or third session of play. At the time, I didn’t even know what it was, just that it was a complete out of body, transcendent experience. And I fucking loved it! Giving my body over to Him felt so natural and right. We new each other from a past life. I had this feeling since early on that we were like two unique and complex shapes that just fit perfectly.
It was an intense and long session with sensory deprivation, heavy impact, sensual play, orgasm control and toys. I was restrained at the head of the bed, facing the wall, while He worked my shoulders. Toys were inserted and placed, filling holes and caressing my pussy and ass. The impacts were soothed with warm, firm hugs, kisses on my neck and affirmations. My body was shaking in that uncontrollable way, but I still managed to stop myself climaxing. I wouldn’t be able to for much longer, however. Then I went somewhere; time did not exist and there was no visual, there was nothing. Pleasure had reached a point, seemingly, where my mind was so overwhelmed it just switched off. It dropped actually; my body did too. All the muscles went into complete relaxation as if hypnotised. The full feeling is hard to grasp but I remember it was ecstasy – like being released, the ultimate freedom. When I woke, I felt confused, as if I didn’t know where I was, where I’d been and what was happening. I know I felt all the tension released from me. I came with huge gush released from all of my body and out through my pussy. But I cannot remember the timing of this – was it when I was in subspace or before? It wasn’t after because the sensation when I woke was like I was returning slowly from a great height. I did have a drop so the aftercare was essential.
I have read about a few subspace experiences from others, which seem similar but uniquely different, much like the many different ways orgasms can be experienced. I would love to read more ?.