A moment and then another

Vanilla

It's such a beautiful word. It rolls off the tongue. It also looks extremely sexy on the mouth...

What was I saying? So much tongue...

Vanilla. It's sexy. Well, it's as sexy as you want it to be.

It's not a dirty word. It could be though ;). It could be as dirty as you want it to be (within social acceptability limits of course). 

Vanilla is what you make it - the potential for toppings, extras and compilations is endless. Saying Vanilla in a confident, sexy voice is one thing I would not get tired of seeing.

So why not do Vanilla with such sensual seductive style.

Xx??

In my pursuit of self growth, I have been attending to my wellbeing and how I 'walk' in this world.

I don't want to walk, I want to dance my way through life with such grace.

So I need to sit, stand and move as a dancer does (much respect ☺️). This means training - learning and practice. Training is often thought to be extreme, pushing the limits so to speak. It is this but also can be easy and fun.

I am learning to work smarter, not harder. My intention is to make these changes and tasks enjoyable, achieve multiple goals/desires at once and do so with ease - without pushing too much. Zone of Proximity.

With this all in mind, I found a ritual for exercising, training, playing and practicing wonder/gratitude.

I have the perfect walking trail. I play at the playground, testing balance, gravity and harmony with my body. I swing and think about the sky and space. I walk on to an oval with an outdoor stadium; it has the loveliest view. Here I walk along the ledge, balancing, holding position, treading lightly, toes first, head up, posture correct, moving slower and faster depending on my grasp of coordination and balance.

I want to dance and walk beautifully.

I'm getting better at moving with confidence and grace, remembering posture, how to focus (without pushing) and breathing well.

I continue my walking journey, enjoying the sights of people, sunset, landscape and then musing over whatever takes my fancy.

A wonderful ritual this has become, with so much value attained and little time spent. Smarter not harder.

This is a photo taken from the stadium ?

Dawn breaking - Our time to hit the morning surf. I had been a bit grumpy and snappy lately so I was expecting it to come back to me at any moment. But this! This was cruel!

He made me take my wetsuit off... And my swimmers. Naked. I had to be completely naked despite the morning walkers' passing by and the fact that THIS IS NOT A NUDIST BEACH! 

He laughed at me and says, "But Honey, I thought you liked people admiring your body."

I glared at him. He just pointed to the ground - the shore - where the tide was rising.

"Lay down, face up, legs spread and arms pinned, please." He said before lifting his surfboard up and jogging off into the sunrise.

"Bastard! He looks so fucking good," I said with a smile as I lay down into position.

????

Caught, bitten and pinned to the earth

Bruised and bloodied knees

I surrender, but not without game

I wait, hands above my head

Eyes closed

Waiting for what is to come

The cool breeze comes

And pushes my legs apart

They are pardoned wide shut

Opened slightly, just enough

To let One see

That they are parted for thee.

✌️?

When I smell wood smoke

It takes me away

To home

Where Spring and Autumn

Drip from my sweat

And everyday

I wear Summer.

Winter warms me

With laughter and love

Warm tea

And cinnamon.

But this is a distant memory

Of what is to be

I will wait 

To come.

This is so beautiful, I have to put it here.

XX

Goblin King is the sadist of my dreams. He constructs the labyrinth, learning every pathway of the mind and body, knowing the lay of the land, creating the obstacles and leading beyond limitations - beyond barriers, beyond possibility. Controlled temptations that push and pull more and more, greater and greater to become the person of proper worth.

Press, twist, turn and tie - The Dark King hoists that body up to make it dance and sing. With his masterful mind and hands, each blow, slap, pull, knot, word, he navigates pain and pleasure to deliver his Puppet Whore to the realm of senses. Held on strings, he moves her, bends her and breaks her till she falls to oblivion - no thought other than to be the perfect, depraved, desperate meatpuppet that she is meant to be.

Goblin King controls her restraint and release with perfect precision - denying pleasures, taking her to the extreme edge and then forcing her to plummet to the deepest depths of capability. Bent and broken, what remains she gives to him and feeds his appetite for flesh. She is tortured and consumed as mere nourishment for his need of pleasure.

Debased, pounded and mindless, this puppet desperate to have her devotion taken and forced. Pushed and pulled to extreme lengths, willingly following, her commitment and loyalty to him takes hold. She will sink to the basest depths of the earth to serve her Goblin King.

Dropped below, his hands and words take her there. His Spectacularly Dirty Whore falls at her Goblin King's feet. Taken, broken, released.

???

To all the wonderful daddys and their littles out there, this is for you.

My parents are wonderful and have supported me to no end. However, for a number of reasons, namely processing issues and social conditioning, there was emotional repression and distance. I did not feel understood or like I belonged.

Many years of seeking validation, never to be found. I built walls to protect my 'unpleasant' emotions and the possibility of rejection. This, I only acknowledged recently - the desire to be nurtured and protected. For me, this is the essence of what a daddy dominant provides - acceptance, care, non-judgement, encouragement, support, facilitation and pride.

It is not about 'daddy issues' or sexual taboos, it is merely a matter of fulfilling what all humans need - to feel wholly accepted and loved without judgement.

I loosely hold a concept (or fantasy) of a daddy dominant and for some reason I have associated it with a song. 

Let's go Cloudbusting Daddy (AKA Donald Sutherland)!

Thanks for making us feel important and providing a place in this world for us. ???

Sadists, I haven't forgotten you - you're up next ?✌️.

My mind is full and relentless at the moment. In my focus on deadlines, task completion, commitments, organising and fun, I feel unsettled and constantly rushed. This is when pressure consumes me of my own volition and I lose grounding.

I forget to stop.

I forget to wait, appreciate and refocus my attention to sitting in solitude.

Contented peace and silence seem distant.

Frenzy taken hold, I fear the dissipation of ecstacy. Selfishly, I cling to the sky, fearing the fall to earth.

But rationally I understand states are temporal and I am expecting too much, being greedy with those feel-good feels

It is time then, to return to a place of peaceful waiting, where I rest and reset my mind

Waiting with my whole attention

Patiently

Sitting and waiting in peace

With need for sensations, my skin meets the world, and I take great pleasure waiting in stillness

Enjoying the silence with my attention put to my body.

The focus on detail and stamina takes me away and rests my mind.

Remember to stop and feel - hear those weary cries. 

Sit

Wait

Be

In Peace

So serene ??

To simply sit ?