Ultimately, because it is so enriching in my life. It makes me shine.
Initially, I fell into it – I presume a bit by chance and a bit by destiny – and it was the novelty and those feel-good chemicals that got me hooked. I started this journey for all the wrong reasons – to fill a void, to feel, to be desired, to be reckless, distraction, avoidance, desperation, stimulation, attention, a kind of externalising of pain, seeking release.
It changed; there was a process, a journey of self-discovery, BDSM, healing, solitude, learning and growing. My ‘why’, what draws me to submission, is the depth of experience, sensation and connection to the world, and now, to another soul who sees, knows and cherishes me. I want to feel deeply that I belong, am valued, am lusted after, am respected, cared for, appreciated while directing my own desire, devotion, sexual expression and naked self in reciprocal exchange with someone who nourishes me. For me, submission is now bound to my way to live and be. It guides and constantly keeps me in check with my purpose, positioning me to hear that which can only be heard in humility, acceptance and grace.
3 years of slow, carefully tended to creation. The depth of experience and fulfillment directly proportional to the depth of submission and intimacy, built and tended to over time. A complementary attraction magnetically aligned – found.
3 years of consistency, attention, respect, patience, guidance, care, knowing, curiosity, exploration, joy, pleasure, celebration, beauty, maturity, inspiration, growth, gratitude, communication, clarity, warmth, contentment, belonging, acceptance, support, connection, desire, satisfaction, longing, attraction, autonomy, admiration, bliss, adoration, learning, discovery, wonder…
and as time moves, the embodiment of my submission and extent of devotion, His nurturing and attentiveness, clarity, sincerity and gentle guidance, seems to only deepen and satiate more.
My submission has come to be emotional, spiritual and somewhat existential; it’s more of my art – the art of living in fullness.
