What happened, then? Did we find ourselves involved in such a bigger matter than we both had thought we'd be signing off for at the beginning?
The days of the training, and the doubt, and the fear of not living up to the expectations, so far behind me. It now seemed like a lifetime ago..
I was mindlessly playing with my necklace, touching the little padlock with the tip of my fingers, and found myself considering what had become of our relationship.
My Master, his sub. A label, a thought of something that started out with a thousand hiccups, and ended up in being our lives.
Have I lost the person that I once was?
Has my presence in his life, changed the person my Master was before me?
I have had my experiences, in life, before becoming my Master's sub. I was a respectful daughter, I had been a faithful girlfriend, I was a loyal friend.
Then I gave myself up to him, promised to obey and serve. In return I was given (counterintuitive as it sounds) *freedom*.
What was of me after that point? What changed?
If I think about it now, I can see how the seed of the best version of myself, was sown back then. How my Master took care of it, sheltered it during bad times, nurtured it with love and discipline.
It's not always been easy, there have been challenges and setbacks, but we always made it to the other side.
There has been a time when I thought I'd lost myself in him, and I believed I couldn't make out who I was anymore. But my Master was there to show me the pieces, help me see it, and patiently waited for me to put them back together.
I've been his broken mirror more times that I'd like to admit. I've always made it back to one piece, and got better after each time.
Who was I today, by virtue of my submission? I could see that mirror's reflection now: I was a better, more understanding daughter, a better, more present friend, and a better, more true partner. Most of all, more true to myself, whole, healed of the many scars I carried around for so long.
