When did everything get so messed up? When did I let my fetish for nylons, legs and feet become so obsessive that is blinded me to what is really important? I'm talking about a real connection, companionship, tenderness and affection; having that one special someone you know will always be there for you through thick or thin?
I have recently realized that all I was looking for was a pleasure dispensary. I thought I was looking for a Mistress or a Domme, but I wasn't. I was doing the one thing I promised I would never do, I was objectifying women in order to satisfy my own needs only without even thinking about what I could offer her and what her needs would be. When did I become such a monster?
Truth is, I've always been a very romantic guy. I love giving flowers, surprising her with dinners, moonlit walks, all of that! I love getting dressed up for no reason at all except to just celebrate what we have. I enjoyed looking forward to maybe seeing her in nylons and heels and hoping that if the night went well I would get to cherish and worship her in them while at the same time fulfilling whatever fantasy she had as well.
Yet, after my last real relationship almost 10 years go, I started focusing on my fetishes and fantasies and lost sight of the real stuff in life.
I don't think I could ever give up my fetish for nylons, legs, feet, sexy high heels and boots, but I do believe that it has become a bit of a curse. It's almost like I'm afraid to give it up for fear that I have nothing else.
This is the battle I fight within me. This is what keeps me alone.
