Lately, I’ve been discovering things about myself that feel too big to ignore. My submission, my desires, my needs—they’ve been getting louder. Not in an overwhelming way, but in that soft, persistent whisper that won’t go away until it’s acknowledged.
And I’m listening.
I’ve always known there was something deep inside me that craved more than just touch or play or control. Something that wanted to be seen without fear or shame. But what I’m learning now is that being in tune with my submissive self means truly accepting her. Not just the sweet parts—the obedient, soft, kneeling parts—but the filthy ones too. The dark cravings, the twisted thoughts, the things I used to hide from even myself.
There’s no shame in what I want. There’s no apology in the way I submit.
This journey isn’t about fitting into someone else’s idea of submission. It’s about coming home to my version of it. And it’s messy, emotional, sometimes confusing, but it’s also… beautiful. Because I’m building a relationship with the most vulnerable part of me.
And I’m doing it deliberately.
I’ve started writing things down since i started this learning journey — tiny notes, full paragraphs, questions I don’t have answers to yet. What kind of Dom do I want? What qualities make me feel safe enough to give everything? How do I want our dynamic to look? How much structure do I need? What rituals ground me? What titles make me melt—and which ones feel hollow?
These aren’t just kinky curiosities. They’re pieces of a much bigger picture.
The more I listen, the more I realize that my submission is deeply personal. It’s not just a role I perform—it’s a truth I live. And being in tune with it means being willing to explore all its faces. The innocent, the filthy, the playful, the intense. The parts I love and the parts I’m still learning to accept.
And yes, I still want to be praised, still want to be claimed, still want to be told I’m a good girl when I deserve it—and even when I don’t. But I also want my Dom to be in tune with me the same way I’m learning to be in tune with myself. To see all of me, hold space for all of me, and still say, “Yes. I want this. I want you.”
As I do this, I’m finding that being in tune with my submissive self isn’t just about my kinks—it’s also about connecting with my divine feminine. My submission is a key that unlocks parts of me that I didn’t even know were there—softer, more vulnerable aspects, but also deeper, more powerful ones. It’s a way of owning my feminine power, of being both gentle and strong, obedient and defiant. It’s learning that true strength lies not just in control, but in surrender. In trusting myself enough to surrender.
There’s something just something so spiritually awakening about how my body responds when I take on a sub pose It’s in the way my body opens as I ease into my submissive poses. The way my breath steadies, my thoughts quiet, and my spirit softens. I feel myself sink deeper into my being, comforted by the silence between breaths, lulled by the rhythm of my inhale and exhale. My eyes close—not to hide, but to fully surrender to the moment. My mind goes blank, but not empty. It’s full of intention, full of feeling.
In those moments, I imagine myself kneeling at the feet of my Dom—not as an act of obedience, but as one of worship. Of love. Of pure, unfiltered adoration and devotion.It becomes an offering. A silent worship. A physical prayer that says: I see you. I trust you. I serve you. I feel our energies align. I feel held, even if he isn’t touching me. When I finally open my eyes, the feeling lingers. My body buzzes with the euphoria of devotion — knowing that I created that space for myself, knowing that one day it will be even deeper when I share it with the right Dominant.
This is what tuning into my submissive self looks like right now: less about labels or kink checklists, more about truth. Connection. Intimacy—with myself first. Because before anyone else can dominate me, I need to know what I’m offering.
So if you’re on a similar path, if you’re figuring out your own submission, I want to say this to you:
Don’t silence your needs to make them easier for others to understand. Your desires don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. They don’t need to be sanitized or shrunken down.
Submission doesn’t need to be tidy. It needs to be true.
Now your turn, what have you discovered about your Submissive/Dominate self lately?
Xoxo
Nirvana