Dom, sub, switch? What Parts of BDSM Interest You? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self.
If I had to put a label on myself in kink, I’d say I’m a submissive and little. That feels like the most accurate and honest description. But it’s not a flat, one-size-fits-all kind of label…for me it’s layered, textured, and very personal. For me, submission isn’t about weakness or blind obedience. It’s about deliberately choosing to hand over power, and in that choice, I discover a different kind of strength.
What draws me in is the balance between structure and freedom. On the surface, it might look like I’m giving something up. But when I allow myself to follow someone’s lead… someone I trust, someone who has earned that place…I actually gain something much bigger. I gain peace. I gain freedom. I gain safety. I gain the ability to step out of my own head and stop trying to control everything all the time. Submission, to me, feels like exhaling after holding my breath for too long.
That doesn’t mean I can’t stand on my own… I can, and I do. But there’s a side of me that lights up when I can lean into someone stronger, steadier, and more demanding of me. Submission feels like a softening into myself, where I don’t have to carry every burden or be the one steering every decision. It’s not just about play. Yes, the sting of impact, the excitement of being told to kneel, the intimacy of rituals, and the physical thrill of surrender. But what keeps me in kink is the emotional and psychological side. I love what those physical acts mean. Rope isn’t just rope…it’s the experience of being held. Impact isn’t just pain… it’s a conversation between trust and vulnerability and all the space in between.
It is about the transcending unspeakable and profoundly deep connection and devotion present in a dynamic. Rituals aren’t just rules or completing tasks… they’re grounding anchors that remind me I’m cared for and claimed. These things aren’t just sensations; they create connection. That’s the part I can’t get enough of.
I wouldn’t say I am completely a switch but do have my moments where it comes out. I am however a BRAT and boy oh boy is it fun, and I’ve learned to love it. It’s not about wanting to be blatantly disobedient, but about enjoying the push-and-pull, the spark of playful resistance. Sometimes I poke at rules, not because I want to break them, but because I want the thrill of being pulled back in. That mischievousness makes me feel more deeply seen and cared for, and it keeps my submission fun and alive. And being put in my place ..welp who would say no to that lol
Beside my deeply submissive side and bratiness…there lies a little. Soft, cute, playful and always eager to please. When I first entered into kink I started off as a little but at the time being a little and trying to understand myself and what I was feeling was a bit too much for me to handle at the time and I hide her away. It is only in the last few months that I gave her a chance, and I’m glad I did. Our favourite little pastime would have to be Bluey, whether it is watching it, or colouring in. we are trying too build our stuffie collection, we currently have 2, CupCake and Sparkles and we are hoping to make a big stuffie army to take over the world!
The more I explore, the more I realize that being a submissive isn’t something I “do”.. it’s part of who I am. I crave structure, I crave connection, and I crave the grounding feeling of giving myself over to someone I can trust. Kink gives me all of that in a way nothing else does. It doesn’t make me less it actually makes me feel more: more woman, more whole, more alive, more free.
So if I had to define my kinky self, I’d say this: I am a submissive who finds strength in surrender, freedom in structure, and intimacy in power exchange. I’m still learning, still growing, but I know this part of me is real. It’s not just play… it’s a truth I carry, and a journey I’m walking one step at a time.
That is the kinky self I’m choosing to grow into, day by day.
Xoxo
Nirvana