What Are Your Hard Limits?
My biggest hard limit? The silent treatment. Of any kind. I don’t care if it’s the cold shoulder, being ignored, or someone deciding I “deserve” to be frozen out... that’s not discipline to me, that’s cruelty. There’s a difference between a time-out that’s meant to help me center myself and being made to feel invisible. Silence feels like abandonment, and that’s one thing I’ll never tolerate in a dynamic.
When it comes to physical limits, I know exactly where my line sits. I’m not into hard face slapping, blood, or anything that leaves me shaking for the wrong reasons. Extreme pain doesn’t turn me on...I like sting and sensation, not suffering. And water sports or golden showers? No, thank you. That’s not my kind of intimacy.
Emotionally, I draw the line at anything that leaves me feeling small in the wrong way. Humiliation that cuts deep, public degradation, or being called things that eat at my self-worth...I need to feel safe, even when I’m vulnerable. That also means no ignoring safewords, no gaslighting, and absolutely no withholding aftercare. Connection matters more than control.
There are also sexual boundaries that are just off the table for me ...scat, vomit, enemas, or anything that crosses into the unsafe or unsanitary zone. My body is something I share, not something to be pushed past its comfort.
And lastly, I don’t play when someone’s angry, drunk, or not in the right headspace. That’s not dominance, that’s recklessness. Trust is the heartbeat of BDSM for me...break that, and everything else falls apart.
These limits aren’t about being “difficult.” They’re about protecting the parts of me that make submission possible. Because the truth is, I can only surrender fully when I know my “no” will always be respected.
Xoxo
Nirvana