“This is not you. Do not let this hurt that you are feeling turn you into something you are not my love. You are funny, caring, kind and such a bubbly person. Do not do yourself an injustice and lose yourself in this maze of pain”
This was said to me on a phone call with a friend about a year ago when i was going through the worst heartbreak of my life. And today, almost a year later, this still holds water. And ironically, I am heartbroken but over a different type of love.
There are two versions or takeaways from this.
I stayed true to what my friend said because I did not lose myself in the maze of pain. I didn't let that heartbreak make me...Once I got back up, I gave life a chance...I gave love a chance...and most importantly, I gave myself a chance. I stayed my caring, kind, funny, bubbly person.
I became everything I hated and told myself I would never
Welp...me being me...i went with version one. Which was not easy, but I did it.
But this time a year later...going with version one is so much harder. I feel so hollow and empty. I don't wanna try again. Don't wanna open up again. Don't wanna love again.
My heart feels so heavy. And i am tired.
But like I did last time i went with version one...i will go with it this time as well. It may take long but i will get there. I always do.