Truly upsidedown

There is space for a title. 
I don’t have one for this message

I am feeling lonely.

I connect with a Dom on here for an evening or 2. It’s awesome to feel any connection that is at least partially genuine, even if just joking around. Those end because statistically that’s the likely outcome. 
Mostly it’s been guys who explain in their profile the importance of trust, time, friendship. We message and within 30 mins of knowing me is telling me specific tasks, responsibilities, etc. WTF? I’m submissive not incapable. These men don’t even know my name. Of course objectively I understand these are insecure, clueless fakes. I proceed to tell them. They get ego hurt. They block me.

I am asking why would a man want a woman to submit to him that he knows doesn’t know him?

I do believe that a good, strong, confident, intelligent, controlling, powerful man is meant to lead. I know I need to be led and trained and educated and treated as I actually am…less than.

I can’t submit to a man who can’t figure this out. They just want to control and beat and call it ok. 
I’m frustrated.

Oh dear! I am not sure I am doing this correctly. 
This is my first time initiating blog.

 I generally do not have the motivation to write and share as I know my experiences and stories are not that unique.

I decided to share a little piece of me because I am feeling sad.

I have struggled to find honest men who are also interesting and appear to know themselves as well as the elusive dynamic I seek.

 I am in desperate need of a change and have felt as if I could really make positive changes occasionally.

Maybe 5 days ago I started talking to a Dom who I really thought was honest. 

In hindsight I have recalled some inconsistencies in some stories.

Now he has disappeared. Our last conversation was super great. It’s been over a day. My gut feels it!

 I think I’m giving up for a bit.

sorry that my story is not very thought provoking.

Just want out of me, all of this. ❤️🤍❤️