I’m sorry, it’s been a busy day.
This morning went awkwardly well. We both kind of landed at the same time today, though he had a slight advantage. What a super beautiful morning, that low mist just barely hanging on top of fields that swirls when you walk through it like a layered dress when you twirl. Cobwebs prominent and glistening like chandeliers hanging from gates and bushes illuminated by a sleepy sun peeking over the hill. Heaven. A crisp morning heading for a glorious day ahead of sunshine and lollipops.
I ignored the elephant (as did he) and super excitedly pointed out all the little things that make me smile for the first ten minutes, then let him point out his - he’s a quieter walker than I am, he made me tiptoe a little and carry the dog to catch rabbits unawares to hear them thump their little feet (a warning signal apparently), then pointed out Thumper in Bambi and the reason he most likely got the name. And then we meandered in silence for a while, sucking in all that gorgeous air and mellowing out nicely as the sun had its first sip of coffee and blinked awake properly. it was just nice.
We found our halfway point, sat gingerly, both knowing what was to come, but neither wanting to talk. So that’s exactly what I said: “we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” That vast expanse of sea and sky ahead of us couldn't distract me long enough to keep my eyes from the glance I had to take. I had to. He was smiling! “Thank you, but I’m ok today. I’m sorry about yesterday, but it was our anniversary. I always forget it, and then the reminder comes up on my phone.” Well now what’s a girl to say to that? So I went with “fucking technology.”
Well apparently that was the right response in some fashion, because he laughed and laughed for a good few minutes. And no, it wasn’t one of those infectious laughs that you laugh with, it was one of those ones they have on YouTube or something because it sounds so utterly ridiculous! The man laughs quite similarly to a donkey 😬. So then I laughed to, and he knew I was quite clearly laughing at him because of the most shocked face I’ve ever had, and clearly that was even funnier because he then laughed more 🤷♀️. Ffs, what a ridiculous few minutes.
Anyways, once we gathered our senses, we watched the cormorants and gannets diving for breakfast, he told me all about them, wingspan, lifespan, usual cause of death, a full on lecture on seabirds (some of which I knew, and some I genuinely didn’t!) So I just sat and listened, and it was actually ok. He interspersed it all with stories about their life and what they enjoyed doing together, and he seemed at peace with it all.
The dog finally got impatient and demanded some movement from us both, so off we wandered again. We didn’t talk much then. I can’t speak for him, but it was such a glorious morning I don’t think I could have. The last of the wildflowers are still lending colour to ditches and hedges, petals heavy with water from the dewy morning but still opening to welcome the sun, birds chatting and swooping playing games of tag in a windless sky, and little rabbits thumping their feet telling all the others about the idiot humans carrying a wriggling dog tiptoeing up the road towards home.
We reached our crossroads almost without noticing and almost parted ways without saying goodbye, both distracted though I can’t say why he was. A chuckle this time from both of us, then a laugh from me when I remembered his. “Alright, alright, I can’t help it,” evidenced he knew the cause. I blushed a little at that, but knew it wasn’t the first time he’s gone through it. Suddenly all the lines on his face didn’t seem to be from pain and grief anymore, a few were creased from the broad beam across his face, wrinkles around his eyes, a few around his mouth. It made me smile more.
“Same time tomorrow?” I enquired. He dropped his eyes, the smile still playing on his lips. “Same time tomorrow, but wear boots.” Fml, hill walking by the sounds of it.
MLP