So I've stated before that while the modern, millennial-generation hard rock/metal scene is flourishing, a lot of the bands just sound rather same-y to me. One post-2000 band that always stood out to me, however, is VolBeat. These guys's sound is more rooted in traditional 80's heavy metal, but they aren't afraid to occasionally mix in some (REALLY old school) rockabilly/country into the mix. So I've always liked them.
One night, I had a dream. I was at my parents house, and there were a ton of people over; neighbors, people from church, friends of the family who were my parents' age. They were hanging out on the back deck, in the yard and in the house, mingling. But for some reason, it was like I was an angry, sullen, angsty teenager again. I couldn't figure out why I was in this mood, or what was wrong, but all I knew was I did not want to deal with ANY of these people, no matter how rude that sounded. I tried my best to make pleasantries, and did so, but all I could think was, "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to DEAL with you right now. I just want...to...be left...ALONE!" And all I could think of, is wanting to go up to my room and blast tunes, in private. One song in particular stuck in my head: Volbeat's "Fallen." I just wanted nothing more than to crank that song.
Roughly nine months later, I am at the reception hall at church. There were a ton of people here: Neighbors, people from the church, friends of the family. They were congregating in small groups, drinking refreshments, and chatting. Earlier, I had to stand up in front of all these people, and give a tribute to my father, who had passed away just a couple weeks earlier. And while I was standing there, speaking in front of the congretation, I had a thousand mile stare, looking out and over the crowd, thinking to myself "I am made of ice. I feel nothing. No emotions. I have ice in my veins... I am made of Ice..." I had to. It was my mechanism, the only way I could get through it while remaining stoic, and without losing composure. But now, the service was over. Family, friends, relatives gathered, and I still had a job to do. I had to represent. To keep it together for a little while longer. Keep frozen, made of ice. Exchange pleasantries, share memories, shake hands, exchange hugs. These people meant well, and I have no problem with that. They were wonderful! It was heartening to see so many people turn out who truly loved my father. But all the while I am thinking, "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to DEAL with you. I.... just.... want to be left...ALONE!"
As soon as we got back to Mom's, the first thing I did was go upstairs, lock the door, and crank this song. The dream from nine months previously, a foreshadowing, all made sense now. Singer Michael Poulson wrote this song as a tribute to his own father after he passed away, and his lyrics affect me so much more deeply now. To this day, I still have trouble listening to this song. It just affects me too deeply, too close to home.
Dad and I had some communication issues growing up; I might have talked about this before. I sometimes have regrets, wishing I had been a better son, not been such an underachiever, or a black sheep, when I was young. I am, however, grateful that I did eventually grow up and get my life together, and that Dad was at least able to see that, to finally tell me he was proud of me.
Anyway, Just wanted to talk about this. I have liked pretty much everything Volbeat has released, too. They are mainstream enough to appeal to the millennials and the sleep token/theory/etc. fans but metal enough to appeal to the old-school 80's metal (former) kids like me.