This blog isn't about anything other than the subject line implies: It's about my dad.
Dad was one of those guys who wasn't very good at communicating. He wasn't the type of guy who, if you were struggling with something in your personal life- girls, not getting along so well with other guys, or general teenage angst- that you could go to for advice. He wouldn't listen to you. He might offer you some advice that had nothing to do with what you had just told him, making it clear that he either missed the point entirely, or just didn't want to be bothered. In a way, he reminded me of Red Foreman, the classic TV Dad from "That 70's Show-" sarcastic, stern, but in the end, he tried to do what he thought was right.
"Think positive," he always said- his answer to anything no matter what. It wasn't always that simple of course. Not only is life full of fear, doubt and uncertainty, but I learned- life experience sometimes being as good a teacher as my father- that sometimes you have be prepared for the possibility of hardship and failure, or when it catches you blindsided, it becomes harder to bounce back.
He came from a working class family, living paycheck-to-paycheck barely scraping by in a small apartment while his dad worked in the auto industry. Eventually they were able to move into a small house with a garden, when he was 11 or 12. By the time I was born, Dad had a good, white collar job and we had a decent sized house in a nice hilly subdivision, and were never wanting. I suspect that Dad thought I took my middle-class upbringing for granted. I had my own struggles growing up but they were nothing like his family's struggles with poverty. Perhaps that's why he had a hard time relating to my own experiences and struggles.
By the time I was in college, he was always haranging me, "Cut your hair. Get a hair cut, hippie. Why don't you wear nicer clothes?" And then, when I graduated, I couldn't think of any real goals as far as a career, and I really struggled with that. Dad's way of motivating me was to point out how some of my peers were making $60 grand a year (pretty good for the mid/late 1990s) while I was still delivering pizzas. However, Dad was always ready to lend a hand when I was struggling, in the best way he knew, whether it was driving 200 miles to pick me up after a road trip went horribly wrong (Resulting in a blown engine and dead car) or giving me some financial support when, at 28, I laid out my career plans which involved going to a vocational technical school. And by then, I had finally cut my hair, updated my wardrobe, and was on my way to a good job- which I still have today, and which pays over $60 grand a year (which is decent if not extravagent for the early 2020s.)
Though we had plenty of disagreements over the years, some of which led to fierce and bitter arguments, I always loved and respected him- and he likewise always wanted the best for me. About a year or so before he passed away, he told me, "You are a good man." That moment meant a lot to me. I felt then, that we had made our peace and that we had finally reconciled our differences.
So anyway, that's about it, thanks for reading. On another note, Mister Youtube Math Man said the other day, "Many will get wrong! Solve for x:"
The equasion was "x squared over 4 equals -4." So, using my math skills, I deduced that x squared equaled negative sixteen. After which, I entered "Square root of minus sixteen" into my calculator. It gave me the answer " - E -" . Okay, so the answer must be "- E -." then, I thought. Or it's one of those imaginary numbers, like eleventy four, 4i, or Sixty-Twelve. Anyway, I got it wrong. So, I've since gone down another rabbit hole; watching videos of some punk-rock looking Australian kid smash up old desktop computers in a fit of rage. It's utterly stupid and mindless, but at least there are no wrong answers.
