I think I understand why I like his personality.... I'm not justifying things or suggesting it would work... I'm just realising a few things about myself
When you have been told your place is second your entire life, you have to accommodate everyone else and be understanding. Including.... there need to be needed, to have a purpose.... which means your trapped while they pretend its a kindness. Narcs are fucking awful and my family is filled with them.
Some men tried to rescue me... not from family but give me a better life... I full on panic and become challenging to deal with, arguments ensue and the men end up hating me.
But .... I think I realised why I like this guy...
I like that he never tried to 'rescue' me... because psychologically I do not cope well with being dependent on others. He listened, cared but never tried to fix it or rescue me. He just encouraged my ideas.
I've never had that... I felt safe. This is eye opening.
Others took issue with the fact he never came to the hospital to check on me when I collapsed. But again... that's something I value. Life is short enjoy it, I don't want to spoil the event. I detest attention when such things happen, it was often used as control in my life and emotional manipulative
I also know he won't go to a hospital. So I called and he asked. That's the end of it.
Simples.
This is helping me understand what I appreciate and might be helpful for me in a relationship... interesting