A grenade has gone off in my family.... ive contacted my ex.... want to scream into a pillow.
I didn't deserve how i was treated towards the end.
Been lied to by family for years.
Needing a safety check in and my ex is the only person I feel 'safe' with.... which is some twisted logic. Safe as in wont talk me out of something i want to do.
Really missing sub space right now. To feel safe while having fun. Oh vodka how i miss you and the numbness that follows, would come in handy right about now.
Relating strongly to girl with dragon tattoo right now. Want to get covered in tattoos piercing and cut my hair.
Book a hotel room and either give my ex the address or go out and pick someone up just to try and forget the past few weeks with.
* This is not an invitation*
Im tired im exhausted, why the beep did i fight so much for this..... its so shitty im just something to be used to hurt others with and lied too endlessly.
Enough. It's time shit changed. If only i could leave my ex out. Honestly im human being solo becomes exhausting.
Feeling apprehensive and a little scared. Once it changes there wont be any going back or at least not sanity wise.
A Master would be wonderful even as a friend to help me get through this but... well its probably a good thing there isn't one.
Can feel myself itching to breathe and break free
