In about a week it will be 9yrs since my husband passed away. He was 32yrs old and had been hit by a train while riding his motorcycle. I no longer grief him I already did that the first 6yrs but tonight the tears are unstoppable as thoughts of all the things I miss about him being here. Maybe it's a relationship in general that I'm missing. I feel this emptiness in the pit of my stomach that is normally not there. It feels like loneliness like a complete void and I can actually feel it physically. I've been single 9yrs and I'm coming to accept that maybe I always will be at this time in my life I really thought I wanted to be single so I don't date at all. Honestly I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone at least not yet not for the type of man/Dom/switch i want. I feel I need to become a better version of myself first but at the same time life is to short and if the person was right for me wouldn't he see who I am and that I'm trying to make changes in myself and want me even during a time of growth? Oh boy lol my mind is just all over the place tonight. I know this isn't bdsm talk but I needed to get this off my chest needed to tell someone what I'm going through tonight. I know these feelings will pass but I do miss that type of connection you have with a lover alot of the time and.....I do miss him.
Thank you for always letting me ramble you beautiful people ❤
